Page 101 of Alpha Theo

I feel like I need a cold shower to douse the fire that he’s started in my belly. I lean back in my seat, catching my breath as Theo puts the Jeep in drive and pulls out onto the road.

“I wanna tell people about us,” he says after a few moments, giving me a sideways glance. “Fuck sneaking around.”

“Theo…” I say cautiously, pulling a leg up underneath me and turning to look at him.

“We don’t have to tell people we’re bonded yet if you don’t want to,” he mutters. “But what’s the harm in them knowing that you’re my girl? Then I could at least kiss you when I want to.”

The way he says ‘my girl’ makes my heart melt. This guy has such a rough, prickly exterior, but he’s got such a soft side, too- and in moments like this, I feel like it’s reserved only for me. How can I possibly say no to him when he asks me like that?

And then the realization hits me that this is what I want, too- I don’t want to be a secret that he keeps, I want to see what he’s like in an actual relationship, to see whether he can handle it. Whether both of us can.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I ask, blinking at him. Some part of me knows that he’s sure, like I can feel it in my bones, but damnit if my doubts don’t keep lingering and making me second guess everything.

He flickers his eyes from the road to meet mine, and they’re filled with so much sincerity. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Don’t you?”

It’s a loaded question. Part of me doesn’t want to feel the pressure of being in a public relationship with someone of Theo’s position, like it’d be opening myself up to other people’s judgement and scrutiny. But another part of me wants everyone to know that we’re together so that other women back off of what’s mine- the growly, possessive part of me that’s fueled by the mate bond.

I must be taking too long to respond, because Theo blows out a breath, shaking his head. “Look, kid, I get why you wouldn’t want to be linked to someone like me. With my history and everything.”

“What?” I tilt my head questioningly.

He heaves a sigh, cranking the wheel to turn onto the road that leads out to the highway. “I’m not an idiot, I know what people say about me,” he mutters. “You’ve got the whole good girl thing going on and I’m just this fuck-up who can’t get his shit together.”

I shake my head adamantly. “No, Theo. It’s not that. And that’s not even true.” I reach over to touch his arm, tracing my fingers over the black ink of his tribal tattoos. “You might not let a lot of people see it, but I know who you are. And you’re not a fuck-up.”

He looks over at me, his lips curling into an amused smile at my use of the ‘f-word’. “I’m not a what?”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “I’m not saying it again.”

Theo grins mischievously, flicking on the blinker to merge onto the on-ramp of the highway.

“I just…” I sigh, trying to choose my words carefully. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to be with me because we’re mates.”

And there it is, the crux of my indecision. This gorgeous alpha could have anyone he wants, and I feel like an imposter, like people will think one of two things if they see us together- either that I’m not good enough for him, or that I’m just another bimbo he’s trying to take to bed. It isn’t any fault of his, it’s my own stupid insecurities.

“Is that really want you think?” Theo asks, and he sounds almost offended. “I’ve been trying to show you that I’m in this thing, what else can I…”

“I know,” I interrupt, giving his bicep a squeeze. The muscle is rock-hard under my fingertips. “I know you have. Honestly, it’s not you, it’s me and my own things I have to work through.”

He turns to glance at me again, those hazel eyes pinning me down. “Then let’s work through them.”

Aaaaand I’m putty in his hands again. Damn, when did this guy become so sweet?

“Okay,” I say, and I can’t keep from smiling.

We ride in silence for a few minutes as I fiddle with connecting my phone to the cord in the Jeep and get a playlist queued up.

“Any requests?” I ask, thumbing through the songs on the list.

“Yeah… playCaught Up In You.” He grins slyly, side-eyeing me.

That song must be attached to a memory for him, too- the same one that it is for me, of us riding in this Jeep together for the first time. My heart swells as I scroll through my playlist for the song.

I hit play and immediately start bopping along to the catchy beat- I can’t help it, it’s one of my favorites. Then I look over at Theo to find that he’s singing along to the words as the song rolls into the first chorus. I start singing along too, shimmying my shoulders and doing a little dance in the passenger seat. Our eyes meet and the moment feels so surreal, the lyrics so poignant.

I turn the volume down as the second verse starts, my eyes trained on Theo. “Okay,” I say, unable to stop a grin from spreading across my face.

“Okay, what?” he asks, arching a brow.

---