Page 59 of Promise You Forever

“I’m going to go take a bath,” I tell him as I walk through the room to get to the staircase. Then I notice Charlie sitting by the door, her tail wagging while she waits to go outside. I start to make a detour to let her out when he reaches out and grabs my wrist.

“I’ll let her out. Go relax.”

I muster a genuine smile. “Thank you.”

Closing the door behind me, I look up into the mirror. Shadows of past hurt that I haven’t expressed to Luke haunt my eyes. We have to talk about these things openly if there is any kind of future for us. But it’s scary when every experience I’ve had with him regarding Amy always turns negative.

We’re finally getting into a comfortable routine with each other. I’m gun shy because he’s so trigger happy. My heart can’t handle becoming collateral damage again.

I turn the water on and begin filling the tub while I undress. The wind howls against the side of the house and the slightest draft blows through the bathroom from the window. I forget all about it as I sink into the steaming water though.

My eyes drift closed as I use a rolled up towel to rest my head. As soon as I feel the water reach the top of my breasts, I flick the knob with my foot to stop filling the tub. The sound of waterlapping gently against the side of the oversize tub relaxes me into an almost trancelike state.

“Can I join you?”

I startle slightly at the sound of Luke’s voice, my eyes flying back open. He’s already shirtless, all the defined muscles on display for me. Everything about him screams sex, from his deep voice to the trail of dark hair that leads from his belly button down beneath his zipper. The zipper that’s already undone, I might add.

I’d have to have willpower made of steel to deny him.

Luckily for him, and probably me, I don’t.

“Sure. Just give me a good show first.”

He smirks at me as he hooks his thumbs inside the waistband of his jeans and boxers, pushing them off in one go. His cock is heavy and thick, half hard and rapidly growing the longer I stare. I almost reach for him to bring it to my lips. But the memories of the past hurts are too close to the surface.

“Was that good enough for a spot in the bath?”

“It was adequate.” I sweep my hand in front of me, gesturing to the other side of the tub.

“Adequate.” He scoffs. “I’ll bring my A game next time.”

“Please do. I’m harder to please these days.” I make a show of inspecting my nails, mainly so he can’t look into my eyes. I swear he can see right through me with that glacial gaze of his.

“You clammed up when I said Amy’s name.”

Oh fuck, of course he wants to talk about it.

“Yes.”

“Let’s talk it through. What were you feeling?”

“A couple therapy sessions and you think you’re Dr. Phil now?”

“Over two hundred sessions. At least once a week for the past three years and months of two a week. Just indulge me.” His voice pleads with sincerity. “Please?”

“I was bracing myself for you to lash out. If I had to assign a feeling, it was fear. Anytime I, or anyone, mentioned her, even in passing, you would get angry. I just didn’t want to be in the line of fire again.”

“I’m sorry for all the times I made you feel that way. You didn’t deserve it.” He reaches under the water and grabs my foot, lifting it to his chest and rubbing his thumb along the arch. “I was in denial back then. I was carrying so much guilt and shame and grief that just festered inside me. It made me a monster.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I would.” He keeps massaging my foot. “I’ve apologized to everyone around me, but I have to show that I can be trusted. Can I open that door to be trusted by you again?”

“Of course.”

“I want to explain what happened the night of your twenty-first birthday.”

I inhale a shaky breath. “Okay.”

---