Page 10 of Promise Me Never

“Dr. McPherson wants you to rest normally for a few days but call if you have any vision problems, vomiting, or significant change in pain. Paul went into town to pick up a prescription the doctor called in. Take those as directed.” She finishes rolling the gauze and secures it. “Change the gauze daily until the cut heals. I’ll take the stitches out in a couple weeks.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Try not to let my brother drive you nuts.”

Four

LUKE

* * *

My cabin has a direct line of sight to the side of the house that Eli’s room is on. I’ve been sitting on my porch drinking and staring all evening. Janey looked for me before leaving, but I stayed out of sight. The last thing I want to do is talk about her comment to me.

I watch as all the lights in the house go out one by one when Paul and Jo finally go to bed. I’m going to give it a half hour before I go check on her. I grab the bottle beside me and drain the last few swallows.

I should’ve insisted on taking her to the hospital. Had I known my sister would be so lax in her care, I wouldn’t have had Colton call her out. Lesson learned for next time. If there is a next time.

I tap my phone’s screen and see that it’s only been fifteen minutes but fuck it. I’m going now, regardless. What’s Paul going to do if he finds me checking on her at night after she’s had a concussion? Get mad at me for caring enough to check on her?

No, he’ll understand.

He saw me after Amy’s accident.

I walk to the side door, avoiding the deck because of all the creaky boards. Unfortunately for me, it’s locked. I look up at the deck off her room and over at the lattice work for Jo’s ivy and roses. I built it to withstand winter blizzards, so I know it’s sturdy.

After a moment of hesitation, I reach over and begin to climb. I start slowly, creeping up and trying to avoid stepping on any of the plants. I let out a relieved breath when I swing my legs over the bannister and land softly onto the deck. I don’t really know Eli at all, but I doubt she thought to lock her door.

I fight an internal battle between annoyance and relief when my hunch is correct. Her room smells like her, hints of strawberry and rose. She’s passed out in the middle of the big bed. Soft breaths are the only sound, aside from the pounding of my anxious heart. There’s a small bump under the stitches, and light purple bruising around her temple, but she seems okay otherwise.

I walk over to the chair in the corner of the room and lower myself slowly. I’m just going to sit here to make sure she’s alright for a few minutes. I don’t sleep anyway, and I damn sure won’t sleep tonight.

Thank fuck she breathes so heavy that way I don’t have to hover close like some unhinged stalker. I’m just going to sit here until I feel confident she’ll be alive in the morning. It’s solely for my own peace of mind that I’m doing this.

Her phone lights up beside her on the bed, and my spine stiffens. I relax as it goes dark, it’d be pretty hard to explain to her why I’m in here and how I got in. I’m silently moving across the room when it lights up again. As soon as I lift the phone off the bed, the screen lights up with a text notification from a guy named Brandon.

After a minute of debate, I set the phone down on the rug under her bed, so it looks like it just slipped off the covers onto the floor. A beam of moonlight cuts through the shadows partially illuminating her face. Even though it pains me to admit it, the guys are right. She’s beautiful.

Today was the closest I’ve held a woman to me since Amy passed away, and I’m all fucked up over it. Maybe I’ll take some flowers to her grave tomorrow afternoon. Paul always gives me Saturdays and Sundays off, even though I still help him take care of all the animals. I live on his property, the least I can do is help out with daily chores when everyone else is gone.

I sit quietly for hours watching over her. It’s not until an hour before dawn that I walk out onto the deck and climb back down the lattice. When I look out my front window, I see her standing on her deck looking out into the night. Left right at the perfect time. She leans against a post and stares out into the night. At least I know she’s okay.

I strip out of my shirt and jeans to grab an hour of sleep before my alarm goes off. The picture of Amy on my bedside table catches my eye, so I reach over and run my finger along her cheek. I’d never admit to anyone, but Janey was right. Today did trigger me.

* * *

“Good Morning, Lucas,” Maggie, my first grade teacher, greets me as I hand her the bouquet I chose to take to Amy. “How are you doing?”

“I’m alright. How’s retirement treating you?”

“Well, I made it almost a year before I had to find a job to fill the time. Now I’m here, working with a bunch of kids I taught how to read and write.”

“And they’ve never been more well behaved.” I give her wink as I hand over my credit card.

She was always one of my favorites. Anyone else would give me a pitying look for purchasing flowers they know will just lay atop Amy’s gravestone. Her family moved away shortly after the accident, which means it’s on me to make sure it’s kept up. Our local cemetery is small and not staffed full time.

I toss the flowers on the passenger seat of my truck and make the five-minute drive to the edge of town. The cemetery is on a plot of land with a gorgeous view of the mountains and surrounded by trees. I park at a dead end and grab the bouquet of daisies before pushing the rusty iron gate open.

It took a year until I felt like I could survive visiting her here. We grew up together and then fell into a mutual childhood crush which led to young love. I didn’t know how to live without her beside me. It felt like such a cruel joke to have her ripped from me before we could really start our life together.