Page 81 of The Shadow of Polaris

The crew was silent, unsure how to handle my desperate pleading. They all knew what I had decided couldn’t be true.

“Wake up!” I screamed, slapping the half-god across the cheek. Rather than retracting against the force, his neck simply rolled to the side. His cheek sagged against the deck boards.

His skin was so cold, so grey. I barely recognized him. He was someone I’d never met before. The lips that had once been so warm, so soothing and gentle against mine, were now a dull shade of blue. The eyes that had once burned so brightly, like the first rays of morning sun, were now muted and tarnished. His hands were so limp, the muscles like bags of sand molded to the hard flatness of the deck.

“Wake up!” I hit him again, hoping the inflicted pain would snap him out of unconsciousness.

He simply remained there, unmoving, unseeing, entirely lifeless.

“Don’t go, Aryx. Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go.”

Every piece of me broke as I watched his complexion grey.

“Don’t leave me. I need you. Please,” I whispered, “Come back to me.”

His body was too still. There was no electricity spiking between us when my lips met his. I continued breathing for him anyway, continued praying, continued hoping. He still wouldn’t breathe for himself.

The hum I felt in my chest when we were close was no longer there. The man laying before me, who used to be so full of life, so full of fight, was now merely an empty vessel.

Vacant of everything except sea water.

He was gone.

My ribs caved in, crushing every muscle and organ inside my body.

He was gone.

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, couldn’t think. Sobs escaped my lips as I crumpled over his lifeless frame. He couldn’t be gone. I couldn’t do this without him. This man I shared my bed with. This man I shared my heart with. The holder of my secrets, the keeper of my thoughts.

This man that I loved.

I knew in this moment that’s what it was. Love. The heartbreak now poisoning my veins wasn’t for mere lust or friendship, it was for love.

I screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed.

And screamed.

The man I loved was gone.

I’d never hold him again.

I’d never feel his warmth against me again.

I’d never tell him I loved him.

All the surrounding colors faded to grey. The water that was once so blue and vivid, was now a shade of black. The air in my lungs caught fire and seared my insides.

This was excruciating. I’d been tortured, beaten, broken, betrayed, captured, hated. Nothing would ever compare to this. My body felt as if it was being shredded apart. The world was wiped away, leaving us suspended in this moment.

Leaving me suspended in this moment.

There was no us anymore. He was gone. There would never be an us. That realization plunged itself into me further, tearing through my lungs, slashing my heart into pieces, perforating my stomach.

I screamed until my voice died and all that was left were pathetic gulps as I clenched the fabric of his tunic, afraid to let go.

“My Lady, he’s gone.” Lytos was kneeling beside me. I hadn’t noticed him. He placed his large hand on my shoulder. It was cold and uncomfortable. There was no warmth in his embrace when he wrapped his long arms around me. All the progress I made snapped in one instant.

Funny how something you’ve worked your whole life for can be taken from you in mere seconds. Sometimes, the only way to fully know how much you cherish another is to have them ripped away. One fleeting moment and they’re gone. A mere stitch of infinity causing a lifetime of destruction.

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