Page 82 of The Shadow of Polaris

I receded back into the shadows.

My vision tunneled.

He was gone.

I loved him and he was gone.

Everything was numb, diluted. I barely felt the sharp ache in my toes, the tingles racing through me. I barely felt the glow of my power as the demon pounced. I barely felt her explode. I barely felt everyone around me launch into the air at the pulse of energy erupting from my very core.

Arcturas howled as the grey sky shifted to black and the moon peaked from the horizon, zooming to its zenith. Regaining my voice, I screamed again, throwing my head back. Our voices became one as we called to the moon, called to Polaris. An amethyst glow encapsulated my body as the demon took command.

“My Queen! Please! Stop!” one sailor begged.

I lunged for him, digging my fingers into his chest. The shadows plunged through him, melting away his tunic, then his skin, then his muscle until I exposed the racing beat of his heart to the cool air.

One after another, I tore into the crew, exposing their organs to the world. Following my lead, Arcturas pounced from one to the next, shredding the arteries in their necks until the pine decking was permanently stained red.

Only one man remained, trembling beneath a silver shield. I stepped toward him as he pleaded and begged.

“Lady Elpis, this isn’t you. Please,” Lytos cried as I ripped the shield away from him. The metal melted in my hands.

“Please, Elpis. Please. Don’t do this. Please. It won’t bring him back.”

His words were muffled to my ears, as if all sound had evaporated from the earth. I took a step toward him, violent whispers licking the walls of my mind.

“Elpis. Listen to me. I understand what you’re going through. It’s agony. But please, fight. I know you’re in there somewhere,” he cried, sliding away from me.

I took another step, my fists clenched so hard my nails dug into flesh. Droplets of blood fell from my palms and spattered on the pine.

“Fight this Elpis. Come back to us.” Lytos’s eyes were wild with terror.

I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to resurface. It was safe here, letting the demon take control. Like a switch had flipped, I shut everything out. All the pain was gone. Numb. I was right where I intended to stay.

“Elpis, please. Think of my son. He needs me, just like you said.”

Judas smiled with moon cake crumbs smothered across his little lips. What would his father say when he asked why Aryx hadn’t returned? How do you explain death to a child without robbing them of their innocence?

Would Lytos lie and say that Aryx had gone on another journey? Maybe somewhere off the continent, never to return?

Or would he tell him the truth? Would he sit his young son down and explain the laws of mortality?

I sunk further into the darkness.

“Aryx is gone. We need you.”

We need you. A small piece of me escaped from the shadows. I turned away from Lytos and glanced at the pale, dead man lying beside us. The dead man I loved. These people were my crew. My soldiers. My friends. I slaughtered them all.

“Your people need you, Elpis. Come back to us. He wouldn’t want this.” With trembling knees, Lytos rose to face me.The tingles receded slightly, and I fell to my knees. Leaning over Aryx, tears streaming down my face, I dug my fingers into his damp skin. The silver light of the moon washed over him.

I screamed again, the strands of hair falling across my face, sticking to the sobs flooding down my cheeks. Nothing would ever be the same again. I ruined it. How many families had I taken a father, a brother, a son from? How many lives did I change forever with my lack of control?

I was the monster they called me.

Shadows faded into his chest and the web of his veins glowed purple. They intensified until the surrounding darkness washed away, in its place the vibrant colors of the borealis. I pushed my power into him, feeling my energy deplete. I didn’t care if I died, expanding the shadows until they swarmed us both. If I could save him, death would be worth it. The world deserved him more than it did me.

Sweat beaded on my brow as I continued pushing. Like the tide receding back to the sea, I felt the demon in my chest slowly fade. The back of my hands bleached pale. The half-god beneath me remained still, his neck still crooked, his eyes still cemented shut.

Arcturas howled behind me, her voice strained and weak. Giving my power to Aryx was draining her, too. She stumbled next to me, her legs giving out beneath her muscular abdomen. Staring up at me, her eyes pleaded for me to stop, begged me to redact my shadows.

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