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Oliver has been strict with restricting the amount of work and, therefore, stress I’m allowed to take on at this point in my pregnancy. He’s heavily screening my emails these days and only lets me work a few hours each day before he has tech shut me out of my computer.

I’m basically part-time at this point.

But part-time work means a lot of time to myself and a lot of time with my own thoughts.

So, I’ve spent a full day of existing alone in my apartment with my thoughts, which is probably never a good thing.

I finally brought myself to read through my father’s final words, though.

By the end, I was a distraught mess.

My first instinct was to call Marshall for comfort. To ask him to come over and fuck me to make everything better.

Sure, my father wasn’t the greatest or most supportive parent to me, but he tried in his own way, I guess.

It’s my responsibility to do better this time, though. I can break the pattern of taking the isolated path that my father set forth. I can do better. I have to, for my baby.

Our baby.

Reading my father’s letter helps me realize how integral Marshall is to all of this. Not just because he’s the father of our daughter but because he’s one of the people in this world who makes me better.

His presence in my life has equipped me to be a better human and, in turn, a better mother.

Despite having read every book and journal article I can get my hands on, there’s no amount of reading that can prepare you to be a mother.

Instead, Marshall swept into my life and taught me the most important lesson of all.

Love.

I’m in love with the foolish man, and it took a dead man’s words to make me realize it.

Or maybe not realize it. I know I’ve been in love with him for a while.

But the direction he’s laid out for us? The vision he paints so vividly of our family? That’s a future I want desperately. I was just too stubborn to admit it.

Moreover, I want it with him.

Marshall Law is the man I want to build a life with. He’s the person I see forever with because I finally have a clear picture of what a life full of joy looks like.

Achievement isn’t the end all be all. I don’t want to move through life looking for fulfillment in the praise I receive from Board members and awards banquets.

Happiness, true happiness, is found in the people you surround yourself with and the experiences you build your life around with them.

That is what I want from my life.

And Marshall has helped bring so much joy into my life that I hadn’t previously allowed myself.

So, I’ll do everything in my power to build a life for us that is just as picture-perfect and messy as he envisions it.

I want a home filled with laughter, children, and love.

Today is a rare day where Oliver let me come into the office for a few select meetings. So I yell out from my office so my assistant can hear me from his desk.

“Oliver!”

“Yes?” He says, popping into the doorway.

“Have you heard anything?” I ask.

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