Page 232 of My Rules

“Do you want to go and grab a coffee or something?” she asks hopefully.

“No. I’m just going to go back to bed. I’ve not slept all night,” I lie. As if I could sleep right now. I’m just about to jump out of my skin with worry.

“Okay, go back to bed, baby. It’s going to be fine.”

“Juliet,” I whisper.

“Yes.”

“Do you think I was in the wrong?”

She stays silent on the other end of the phone, and I close my eyes once again.

That’s a yes.

“It’s not for me to decide who’s in the wrong. I love you both,” she eventually replies. “Go to sleep. I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, thanks for everything.” I hang up the phone and flop back onto the bed.

Ugh ... the day is not starting well.

I sit curled up on the window seat in my front room, rolling my fingers as I wait.

It’s Sunday afternoon, and I haven’t heard a word from Blake.

The rain has come down in buckets, and with every splash of water on the earth comes an overriding sense of doom.

He’ll be home soon, and hopefully we can talk. The ball of nervous energy in my stomach has me sick.

I go over my speech again in my head and hold the letter in my hand.

I couldn’t work out the words to say, so I’ve written him a long letter, hoping to try and explain everything that’s been in my head for the last few weeks.

Seeing it all written down in black and white hasn’t eased my stress; if anything, it’s escalated.

Because now I know how fucked up I really am.

My car comes around the corner, and I jump to my feet and run out the front door. It pulls into my driveway, and as it gets closer, my smile fades.

Antony’s driving it.

I walk out into the rain as he gets out of the driver’s seat. “Where’s Blake?”

He hesitates as his eyes dart around. “He wanted to stay at the hotel for a few more days.”

“He’s not coming home?” My voice cracks, betraying my hurt.

“No. He wanted a few more days.”

“Where is he?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“We need to speak, Antony. It’s urgent. I’ve been worried out of my head.”

“Trust me, I think it’s best you just stay away from him.”

“Is he all right?”

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