Page 219 of My Rules

“Let’s see, where do I start?” I roll my eyes in a dramatic fashion. “He’s changed the passcode on his phone. He’s working late all the time, and suddenly he’s talking softly on the phone in another room.” I sip my coffee again. “It is what it is, I guess.”

“What did he say when you asked about it?” Juliet asks.

“I haven’t brought it up. I mean, what’s the point? He’ll only lie.”

“No. I don’t believe it,” Juliet snaps. “Blake is so in love with you that it’s pathetic. I’m sure there’s a logical reason.”

“I agree,” Chloe says. “It’s not what you think.”

“I wish I had your optimism.” I sigh. “Unfortunately for me, I have been here before, and I know the signs.”

“But this is Blake.” Juliet takes my hand over the table. “He wouldn’t do this to you.”

“John was a good man too.” I sigh sadly with a shrug. “Maybe it’s me? Maybe I’m just not enough to hold a man.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Chloe snaps.

“I really don’t think this is what you think it is. You need to talk to him,” Juliet says. “Maybe he’s just working late more for extra cash.”

“Maybe.” I sip my coffee. “When this all started with John, I ignored every gut instinct about it and was constantly defending him to myself. I can’t do it this time. My gut tells me that something is off, and I have to trust it.”

“How long has this been going on?” Juliet frowns.

“A few weeks.”

“Why haven’t you said something to us?”

“I haven’t seen you alone without the boys, and besides, in the beginning I just thought that maybe this was just my problem and in my head. But as the days tick over, I know that there really is something going on.”

“What are you going to do?” Chloe asks.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I guess I’ll just wait for confirmation of some sort. He’ll catch himself out. They always do. I knew long before I caught John, but I just had to wait for the proof.”

“How did you know that John was having an affair? Like, what was the main thing that made you think that he would do that?”

I think for a minute. “It was the hiding of the phone, the whispered conversations, working late all the time, and then the work trips away. But I guess the biggest clue was when he completely changed his entire personality.”

“Like how?”

“John was tight, never spent a cent on us, and then out of the blue, he started booking romantic weekends away for me and him.”

“What do you mean?” Juliet frowns. “How is that a clue? I’m confused.”

“He began to book these elaborate weekends away. Random off-the-grid places, and he would spoil me, make me feel like I was a princess ... actually, he made me feel like I was his queen.”

Juliet frowns again. “But I don’t understand. Why would him booking a weekend for the two of you make you think that he was cheating with someone else?”

“Guilt. Don’t you see? It wasn’t who he was. For so long, he wouldn’t spend a cent on me, and then suddenly he started with the over-the-top grand gestures of love.”

The girls stare at me as they listen intently.

“John loved me, there was no doubt in my mind that he loved me, but he felt guilty. I had been with him for years, and I knew him better than he knew himself. All of a sudden, his behaviors changed: bringing me flowers. Overwhelming me with affection.” I take a long, shaky breath as the dark memory lingers. “It was as if every time he slept with another woman, he knew it was wrong, and he had to make it up to me.”

“Fucker,” Chloe whispers.

“I knew him. I had known him for years, and the man that I married wasn’t the same anymore. He had become more attentive than he’d ever been. I guess that’s what made it even more painful, because even though I had that bad feeling in my gut, I felt as though I was being ungrateful and that he was just making it up to me for working all the extra hours.”

“What a nightmare,” Juliet whispers. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

---