Page 245 of The Bonus

He sits back. “Fair call.”

“And sometimes I just really want to stab you or something.”

“Slightly sinister serial killer aspirations…but okay, I’m listening.”

“And you’ve just turned up here, snapped your fingers and expect me to jump into your arms, and it doesn’t work like that.”

He listens intently.

“And you use your dick against me and that isn’t fair.”

“My dick?” He frowns in surprise. “What’s my dick got to do with anything, are you angry we slept together?”

“Yes. Furious with myself.”

“Why?” he says softly as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “That night was perfect, how could you regret it?”

“Because it wasn’t a conscious decision for me, it was a spur-of-the-moment physical act.”

He stares at me for a beat. “You’re angry that we did it on my desk all those years ago, aren’t you? You’re angry because you think it just happened.”

“It did just happen.”

“After I wanted it for seven years. It did not just happen, Grace. In fact, it was the best sexual experience of my life, and now that I know what came from it, it’s even more special. It was premeditated in my mind for years before.”

I twist my lips as I think.

“Did it just happen for you?” He frowns. “You mean…you didn’t want it to happen at all?”

“Not like that.” I hesitate before I say the next thing. “The thing is, I don’t blame your mother for hating me. If Dominic was three weeks before his wedding and his secretary turned up with two of his children that were conceived on his desk, I’d be devastated too.”

“Do not defend her, that is different.”

“How is it different?”

“Because we were meant to be together,” he snaps angrily. “And don’t you dare bring my mother into this. I blame her for my misery for the last seven years. If she hadn’t demanded her expectations for me to be with an Italian woman, I would have married you back then.”

Married me?

His eyes widen as he realizes what he’s just revealed.

“So you’re angry with your mother for past things…not just that she came to my office that day?”

“My issues with my mother run way deeper than you could ever imagine, Grace. Let’s just leave it at that.” He gets up and begins to organize clothes and I watch him for a moment. “What do you mean?” I ask him.

“Let’s just say my mother’s love has always been conditional.”

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning this conversation is over.” He marches out of the room and I stare after him, confused and perplexed.

He would have married me back then…what?

Gabriel carries me through the front door of his house just on ten thirty. We don’t have an office at my house to do his Zoom from so we needed to come here. I’m feeling a little bit better after our talk this morning and I want to try to make this as easy for him as I can. I have no idea what I’m going to do while he’s working, but I do know that I can’t stay home by myself yet.

“I’ve got to get into my suit, do you want to come upstairs?” he asks.

I haven’t seen his bedroom here.

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