Page 244 of The Bonus

“I’m turning into one of them…”

“You mean an exhausted parent who is trying their best to survive each day?”

His eyes search mine. “Last night was a disaster, wasn’t it?”

“Not at all.”

He sips coffee with a defeated demeanor.

“What’s wrong?”

“I thought I’d be better at this.”

I smile at his delusion. “Every parent thinks they’ll be better at this, until you’re in the trenches you have no idea how hard it is.”

“I know why you let me come here and look after you.” He sips his coffee.

“You do?”

“You thought this would push me away and I’d run for the hills, didn’t you?” His eyes hold mine. “Am I right?”

We stare at each other as silent confirmation runs between us. “It’s not over yet, you still have time to run.” I smile, and then a thought comes to me. “Why did you offer to do this? I know how busy you are.”

“Because you and the children are my responsibility now. I want to be the one who cares for you.”

“The children are your responsibility, not me.”

“Grace.”

I don’t answer him.

“Look at me.” I drag my eyes to meet his. “I’m here for you, not the children. I can have a relationship with them from wherever I am…it’s a relationship with you that I want.”

“Why would you want a relationship with me?”

“Because I love you.”

My eyes search his.

“And I need you to love me back,” he whispers. “So we can get past this and be happy.”

“It’s not that easy, Gabriel.”

“Then tell me how to make it easy. I can’t fix it if you won’t even let me in to talk about it.”

I fidget with a cushion on my bed as I search for the right wording.

“Do you even want to try to fix us?” he asks.

I nod.

“Then talk to me.”

“I can’t explain it. I guess…”

“Yes, I’m listening.”

“Last night was a million times easier than when I came home from the hospital with two babies. You have no idea how hard it’s been and what I’ve been through and I’m angry and resentful at you.”

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