Page 21 of For the Love of Lily

“Hey, no complaints but what’s that for?” Luke asked.

“For being you,” I smiled as I pulled back. “Now, about that whipped cream?”

He grinned and handed me my coffee from the table.

Luke took a long drink, there was a hint of sadness about him.

“Luke, I’m worried about you. Has something happened? What’s wrong?” I sat close to him, wanting to fix whatever had made this amazing man sad.

“I’m not sure where’s best to begin,” he sighed and put his coffee cup on the table his fingers raked through the lengths of his hair.

“After everything you’ve done for me, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t help you with. Just start at the beginning. I’m sure we can fix whatever it is?” My heart was beating fast in anticipation of bad news.

“Do you remember when we met?” he asked.

“Of course. When you came to work at Draper & Hughes. You were so young.” I grinned. “I guess we both were.”

“You didn’t live up here then, and you had a boyfriend, and I admired you from afar, but we weren’t friends as such.”

“I remember,” I sighed. “Wasn’t that way for long, though, was it?”

“No. I remember you were off work for a week or so, and people whispered about why. I tried not to invade your privacy. Then when you did come back, over a few weeks, it was like you turned into a shadow of yourself. Do you remember the night you told me what was happening?”

I nodded, concentrating on the colours in Luke’s eyes to distract me from the memories that shot across my horizon. The heady combination of blue and turquoise, like a Mediterranean ocean on a summer’s day.

“That’s when you told me how bad the situation had got. How scared you were. Hiding away alone. I’ve never in my life felt such an urge to protect someone. Starting the next day, we got everything in motion, didn’t we?”

I nodded once again and smiled. Remembering not the awful times, but how Luke saved me from them.

“You were amazing,” I said with absolute sincerity. “I can’t imagine what would’ve happened that night if-” Luke pressed a finger to my lips and shook his head.

“Since then, I’ve tried everything to build your confidence back up, to show you it wasn’t your fault. To remind you that you are an amazing and beautiful person.” He took hold of my hand.

“You were so patient, even when I didn’t deserve it.” I wiped a tear from my eye. “Sorry, it still gets me a little.”

“I know, I’m sorry to dredge it all up. It’s for a reason.” He wiped a tear from my cheek and smiled.

“So, Lily, during that year…” He stopped and tilted his head back, his eyes focused on the ceiling. “Don’t freak out about this. Just listen before you react. I know what you’re like. Take a moment.”

I sat there in silence. What had happened during that year that he hadn’t told me? We told each other everything.

He looked back down at his feet as he spoke. I absorbed every single word. “I fell completely, unequivocally in love with you. Every single bit of you.”

Time went into a spin at this point, as I tried to digest his words. I held my coffee cup to my mouth, not drinking, not speaking.

“It wasn’t the time to tell you, you were still recovering. I kept convincing myself to wait a little longer. Give you some space. Maybe when that case at work finished. After summer when we’d have more time. Then I was worried I was ‘friend zoned’. In the end, I decided that when I got back from Uganda would be the time, but… everything changed while I was there.” He looked into my eyes and I saw his own tinged with tears that waited to escape as his emotions unburdened themselves.

I couldn’t register what was happening.

“Lily, please say something.” Luke took hold of my hand, but I pulled it away as I tried to think, his face twitched as I did so.

My emotions span into overdrive. This was the last thing I’d expected. It was like being humiliated again. Flashbacks zipped into my mind, people who I thought were my friends, people who had known my boyfriend was sleeping around and hadn’t told me. Why did people keep secrets? Had Luke been using our friendship to get close to me?

“Just clarify a few things for me. Whenever you stayed over here with me, you were in love with me?” I asked, as the tension in my voice rose.

He nodded and sighed. “You aren’t taking a moment, are you?”

I continued, ignoring his comment, as more memories appeared. “When we went to Glastonbury and I passed out half naked, you were in love with me?”

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