“I don’t care whether you believe me or not. Lionel knows what is in my heart, and that is more than enough.”
She looks at me with narrowed eyes. “Don’t even think this is going to stay like this. I’m going to hire a private investigator. As we speak, my attorney is already hiring the best. Jackson certainly has lost his touch. I don’t believe he bought what you told him. You must have convinced Catherine, that girl is his Achilles’ heel.”
I can almost justify her accusations because I suppose it isn’t easy that someone almost killed her only son. She must be upset.
However…
“Be my guest, hire the FBI, the CIA, or whomever you like. You won’t find anything, because there is nothing shady behind all this,” I refute with all the strength I have left, trying to sound convincing. Sure of myself and what happened between us.
She looks at me again, this time with raised eyebrows.
“Ah yes, we’ll see about that. Something smells fishy, Stella. And I’ll make sure to find out what it is as soon as possible.”
With that said, she walks down the hall without looking back.
I stand in the waiting room, unable to move, not knowing what to do.
I’m not even sure what to think.
I drop into the chair and look straight ahead at the coffee table in the middle of the room, where a shiny silver coin rests. A dime.
I take it in my hands and start playing with it.
Like the coin, every story has two sides, and we must always listen to both versions. I know there are many unanswered questions, hell, I have a lot of questions myself.
But I still don’t know why I have the feeling that when I find out, all this mess will fall like a house of cards.
Chapter Six
“There are many things I’ve never told you,” I whisper, taking one of his hands between mine. This is the only consolation I find these days, knowing he’s here, fighting. The smell of alcohol and disinfectant in this place is starting to make me dizzy.
The doctor told us they’re reducing his medication, so we are just waiting for Lionel to decide to wake up. “Although I tried many times, our time together has always been so short. I’d rather not spoil our little time together with arguments. I know you and I’m certainly aware of how you’re going to react.”
I’m sitting next to his bed, every time I’m allowed in during visiting hours. I’m here spending my time speaking with him, whispering silly stories. Today I decided to share my truths. There is so much I don’t dare to say aloud to him when his eyes are open.
Because I already know the answer. My mother has also told me the same thing.
But what am I supposed to do? I can’t stop thinking about my own dreams.
Although others laugh, my mind always goes back to the same place.
“I haven’t bought the study guide, but I want to, Lionel,” I continue with my story. “I want to go to college and learn new things to grow my business. You’ve told me many times the information is available for free on the internet. But I long for more. I want to live the complete experience. I know you have your vineyard dream, but that’s your dream, not mine. And I feel like I can’t live on borrowed goals my whole life. In the end, I would end up miserable. What’s wrong with not settling? What’s wrong with wanting everything? I’m not going to live halfway.”
In response, I hear the sound of his breathing, and the heart monitor beeps. I want to listen to his voice again, saying that he loves me while his strong arms are around me, holding me tight.
Lionel’s a young man, his life can’t end here. I refuse to believe it.
Don’t think about it, Stella, he’s recovering.
I know it’s selfish to think about myself now, but I even miss our fights. The warmth of his smile, our late-night phone calls when I’m already in bed.
I take a deep breath before continuing to speak—I need to. I hope he’s listening to me, that he will think about it and decide to support me.
“As you know, I enjoy beekeeping, taking care of them, but I also want something else. I’ve read a lot about the growth of the organic industry, and I want to expand my business. Maybe one day I can leave the stand. I’ll continue helping my mother, of course. But not having to depend on the weather, tourism, or the season. I want more than just staying home and waiting for you to come back. You know I want a family, but I want to be more than just a housewife.”
I caress his hand, carefully touching his fingers, the place where his gold band should be, but now it’s missing.
“Someday, we will have children, and I will love them with all my heart, Lionel,” I say as a tear rolls down my cheek. He has been insistent about getting me pregnant, but I know there is more. And I want to experience it myself. “But why not give us a chance to be just you and me? Look what happened, I know very little about you. When they said you were here in Los Angeles everything became foggy. You can’t imagine what went through my mind when I saw on the news that you’re a real estate tycoon.”