Page 38 of Wanted

Without wasting any more time I cut two large pieces of pie and put them in the oven, after that, I take my cell phone out of my bag and hand it to Lionel, who has the charger ready.

He looks at my phone with wide eyes and then smirks at me. “Is this an iPhone 5?”

Raising my chin, I reply. “An iPhone 5s in mint condition, works like a charm.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Stella, this thing only works as a paperweight.”

With a haughty gesture, I rip it out of his hands. “It’s mine, and it gets the job done wonderfully. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do. The pie is in the oven.”

I walk out of the kitchen in a hurry, seeking refuge. Upstairs, at the end of the hallway, I find a room with a bathroom and walk-in closet. I drop onto the closet floor, gently closing the door behind me.

No matter how much money Lionel has at hand, it doesn’t give him the right to make fun of my belongings. They are mine. No one has given them to me, and I had to work very hard for them. It seems, after all, the change wasn’t that big, and he’s still the same asshole I married.

I wipe away the tears falling down my cheeks, angry with him and myself for feeling this way. Before, I would have swallowed my anger, faked a smile, and acted like nothing happened. But that isn’t me anymore. If he doesn’t like it, he must live with it.

I hear the door open. I see him out of the corner of my eye, but I don’t dare to look up. Lionel doesn’t enter the room, he stays there, leaning against the doorframe looking at me with his hands tucked into his pockets.

“I’m sorry, Stella,” he says quietly.

I don’t say anything. I’m still on the floor toying with the phone in my hands.

“I’m really sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I quickly respond because I want him to go away and leave me alone again. After all, he’s good at it.

“Of course it matters. You’re upset.”

“Ignore it, like you always do.”

Please, leave me alone. He’s turning the air heavy in this small room, it’s impossible to breathe.

“I clearly don’t know how to do this,” he says before walking in. A bit later, he squats down in front of me.

I snort, that’s new. Lionel doesn’t know and isn’t interested in making it better. I know that story by heart.

“Can I sit with you?” He points to the wall beside me, as I just shrug. He can do whatever he wants.

Lionel sits next to me, his body pressed against mine. That makes me cry harder. I feel silly. I blame it on what happened the last few days, it must be the tension drowning my body.

I hear him taking a deep breath, getting ready for whatever he’s going to tell me.

“Stella, building a house is easy. Making it a home is the tricky part. Clearly, I have no idea how to have a relationship. Look at the mess I made with my terrible joke.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“The last thing I want is to make you sad.” He drops his head against the gray wall behind us. There is a soft thud that reverberates in the silence. “I’m not asking you to be patient because you shouldn’t put up with my nonsense. Instead, I am asking you to show me the way.”

“I’m here,” I say, setting my phone down on the wooden floor. “That should be enough.”

Lionel searches for my hand and entwines his fingers with mine, leaving me no chance to escape. “It’s a lot, it really is. But I told you last night, Stella, we both have to do our part for this to work. Otherwise, our life is going to be hell.”

I turn to see him. I’m a tearful mess and I don’t care. “What do you think the last three months have been like for me? The last few days? You deceived me, the man I met at my honey stand was an illusion, after we got married, you showed me your true colors. Do you think being with you has been easy for me?”

This time Lionel doesn’t take the time to answer, nor does he close his eyes as he always does.

“I-I-I’m sorry, Stella,” he stutters and it breaks my heart. “I-I-I-I’m really sorry. P-p-p-please forgive me.”

Unable to resist any longer, I throw my arms around him, my face buried in his neck, while the tears drown in the delicious aroma of his cologne. Lionel hugs me tight, his hands touching my back.

---