Page 23 of Wanted

I just stare at him. My hands still, holding the thick white curtains behind me, trying to stop myself from the urge to run and hug him.

“Is that what you want to talk about?” I ask him without taking my eyes off his. “What can I say? The room Jackson got me is lovely, and it has a beautiful view of the mountains where you can see the sunrise. There’s a bathtub, so I might take a long bath tonight.”

I finish my sentence by raising my eyebrows. If having a banal conversation is what he wants, I’m willing to give it to him.

After a few seconds of silence, he clears his throat. “Come sit here with me,” he asks, pointing toward the foot of his bed. Once again I have to urge to run and hug him. My fingers itch to caress the smooth strands of his thick blond hair. To trace the stubble on his chin.

I lift my chin and walk to the other side, where the chair in which I’ve spent so many hours is. I take it and bring it near his bed before dropping my ass on it.

“Thank you,” I reply, looking him in the eye. “I’m glad you’re on the mend, Lionel.”

There, I can also be pleasant… when I want to be.

“Listen, Stella, I’m sorry.” What? I almost ask him to say it again. Lionel isn’t the type of man who admits he’s wrong. Never. In the past, when we had our arguments, it was always me who gives in and apologizes.

No more. No more submissive and quiet Stella Lambert, well technically my name is now Stella Kral. The lamb has grown horns and is ready to fight for what she wants.

“What are you sorry about, Lionel?” He better not think he’s going to get out of this so easily. “About the things you said to me last night? Or the fact you’re in this mess and you dragged me into it?”

He looks at me without saying a word. It seems he’s thinking about what to say next.

Fine by me, I’m not in a hurry, I’m quite comfortable sitting here.

“I never imagined being in a situation like this,” he mutters and does it with such sincerity, it takes my breath away.

We both stay silent. In the room we only hear the echo of the monitor blipping along the beat of his heart. The same ones I once thought were beating at the same rhythm as mine.

“I’m very sorry this happened, that all this has taken you out of your normal life, from what you had at home.”

Although I appreciate his words, they aren’t enough. I need more.

“The life I had at home ended when you showed up and fed me all those lies.”

Lionel looks at his long and elegant hands for an instant, then looks at me again, straight in the eyes. His gaze seems so empty. He looks at me, as if this was our first time meeting. His pupils shine, but that spark is unknown. New.

“There are things that have no explanation, Stella, or justification. So I’m not going to try to do it, many things have become blurred and foggy in my head, and I…”

I snort before answering.

“So you are the only one who’s confused in this situation? How do you think I felt when I found out you were here in Los Angeles and someone almost killed you? What do you think went through my head when I saw on the news that your mother was here when you told me that you grew up in the system? Or discovering that I married an important businessman instead of a simple vineyard worker?”

Lionel looks at me with wide eyes as a stab of pain crosses his face when he tries to move. Instinctively, I lean over to help him settle again. Touching him, his strong muscles tense. A chill goes down my spine, making the air get stuck in my throat, the same must have happened to him, because he looks at me for a moment and licks his lips with his tongue.

“Why did you call me this morning?”

His eyes widen, surprised by my question.

“Because I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Or because you wanted to make a statement. What is it with this whole thing about reminding me I’m yours?”

I want to shake him to get all the answers out.

I know we need to clarify many things, but he needs to rest and recover. The fact that I’m furious with him doesn’t blind me.

He takes my hand and kisses the inside of my wrist, above my veins. His warm lips stay there for a moment, feeling my pulse. My heart is racing, we look at each other until I break the contact, distance is necessary now. “I love how you smell,” he finally says as he lets go of my hand.

Forget it, Lionel, that silver tongue of yours isn’t going to do the trick now.

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