Page 69 of Rainstorm

“You’re a fucking selfish bastard, Chase, that’s what you are!” I shout at him, outraged.

As he approaches me, the tension increases between us, but I resist the temptation to slap his face. As much as things have deteriorated between us, I will not stoop to physical violence. Yet.

“I only want the best for you, Rose, you have to believe me. I do!” The pleading in his voice gives me the goose bumps, and I pause for a moment.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore, Chase. How can I possibly believe you, when you’ve broken all your promises to me, even our sacred wedding vows?”

Then dammit, he comes up and gently cups my face in his hands, and my anger dissipates with his touch.

I want him to kiss me, to take me home, to take me upstairs to our bed. I want him to beg me to forget all this nonsense about a divorce.

I want my husband back.

Take me back to the day we met.

Take me back.

“I have to do this, Rose. I need you to be free to make a fresh start with your life. I’m trying to do what I believe in my heart is the right thing for your future happiness, however painful it is right now. And that means I can’t be with you anymore. So please, don’t make it any more complicated than it has to be.”

“What is it that you’re hiding from me, Chase? I know you’re not telling me everything, there has to be more to this. You seem to think throwing money at me, without any kind of proper explanation, makes everything alright. Well, let me tell you it doesn’t, it doesn’t make you some kind of white knight.”

His eyes frantically scrutinize my features, until they stop at my lips which I have unconsciously licked with the tip of my tongue.

Kiss me, Chase.

Kiss me!

“All I can tell you is that I need to be alone, that I have too much to deal with and you...” He hesitates.

“Oh, I get it. I’m a deadweight that you’ve been carrying, so you want to get rid of me. In fact, you’re so desperate, you’re willing to pay me off generously to get me to go quietly. Because I’m nothing more than a burden, a nuisance, an obstacle in your life, right? Thank God we never had kids, I would never have wanted this for my children…”

It kills me to say this, it’s like sticking a knife in my heart. All I can hope is that someday this painful festering wound will eventually heal.

“No… you’ve got this all wrong, I... I didn’t mean it like that, you know I didn’t.” He lets his hands drop in a gesture of defeat, freeing me from his grip.

“The truth is I don’t know what you mean, Chase. I don’t know you anymore. I don’t know anything anymore. Just leave me alone, I can’t take any more of this.”

I turn and head for Ariel’s apartment, desperate to make it there before my tears fall. I don’t want him to see that all the strength I’ve just shown is a complete and utter lie.

A big fat lie, just like everything else between us.

Chapter 16

Chase

Six years ago

Roselynn’s parents’ surprise visit to my home had got me thinking about the best way to introduce her to my family, who were naturally very keen to meet her. So keen in fact, that my mother used to ask about Rose before she asked how I was, all her attention was focused on my girlfriend. But far from bothering me, I was as proud as a peacock, delighted that everyone was so happy about my new relationship.

So that’s where we were headed, to visit my family for the weekend, although I hadn’t told Rose, deciding instead to keep it as a surprise, seeing as her parents had surprised us with their unexpected visit.

“Are we nearly there yet?” Rose asked for the umpteenth time, as I took the exit on the freeway. My family had an orange grove in Riverside, and although it wasn’t far from Los Angeles, with our hectic lives, there just hadn’t been an opportunity for us to get away before then.

When her parents had dropped in and her mother had asked where my dinner table was, Rose had seemed worried about what kind of impression they were getting, because I didn’t exactly have a great deal of furniture, but fortunately, soon after I’d moved in, I’d bought a large table for the patio, so we’d made use of that. The meal had passed off pretty well, with her brothers even managing to keep a civil tongue in their heads, and her father, despite sending some murderous “you’re not good enough for my daughter” looks my way, had also seemed to enjoy the occasion. Rose had commented that she was thankful that her grandmother hadn’t brought along any of the family photo albums to embarrass her, although I wouldn’t have minded seeing them.

“Where are we going?” Rose complained again, fidgeting in her seat like a five-year-old child. “You’ve not given me a single clue about where we’re going, so I hope I’ve brought the right clothes. I just packed a simple dress. You’re not thinking about going camping, right?”

“We’ll be there in about forty-five minutes.” I didn’t bother to hide my amusement at her impatience. “And you don’t need to worry about your clothes, you’ll look perfect whatever you wear, just as you always do.”

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