Page 34 of Rainstorm

More than forty-eight hours of questions with no answers.

None at all.

Has he met someone else?

Has he fallen in love with another woman?

He said he hadn’t, but at this point I can’t believe him. Not when Chase has broken all the promises he’s ever made to me with that one bitter word.

Divorce

I’m still in pain, bleeding, washed away with the rain of tears I can’t stop and it’s draining me, drowning me. People say time heals all wounds, but mine remain fresh, consuming me. Chase has cut me wide open, and there are not enough stitches to close me up again.

I feel so dumb, so weak, so stupid. Why hadn’t I seen this coming?

“I’m finally done!” Ariel exclaims as she comes through the apartment door and pulls me out of my pity party. “It’s gone past five on a Saturday and I don’t have to work tomorrow. So tonight my good friend Margarita is going to come visit us.”

Oh no! I don’t want to see anybody.

Although I have no right to say no if she wants people coming around, I’m really not in the mood for company.

But then she’s holding up a bottle of tequila that was hidden behind her back along with a bag of lemons, before I even get around to asking who the heck Margarita is.

Oh, that Margarita. She is most certainly welcome.

I want to drink until I feel nothing. Until I can ignore how badly hurt I truly am. Numb everything. Even if tomorrow I have to deal with a ginormous hangover, what the heck do I care? Better a blinding headache to occupy my mind than all the relentless, unanswerable questions.

Ariel busies herself in the kitchen, blending our drinks with lots of ice, and although I’ve never been a big drinker, her concoctions taste so good, I’m soon engulfing one after another.

I’m able to ignore the fact that Chase has being calling me nonstop, that he has alerted Mandy, my old friend from the TV station, plus my parents because he’s ‘worried about me’. Ha! Not worried enough to save our marriage though eh?

Now I’m silently building up a bundle of rage. I’m not ready to talk with any of them. I don’t have the courage or the strength. I just keep repeating to myself that I need to take one thing at a time. In reality what that means is that I have become an ostrich.

Hiding my head in a hole.

Yes, sir!

After four drinks, I finally have the courage to tell Ariel what happened with Chase. It’s interesting to see those usually happily bright eyes of hers being fueled by anger, as Ariel starts cursing like a sailor, calling Chase all kinds of names. I laugh for the first time in what seems an eternity, and it’s liberating, even though I also cry a lot.

My first breath of fresh air has turned out to be a laugh.

“It’s depressing ending the night with such a sad tale,” I sigh. But in truth, telling someone what happened between Chase and me is therapeutic and what my broken heart needed.

“You’re calling it a night so early? Such a baby,” Ariel protests. “The night has just started, Roselynn. Go get ready because you and I are going out to celebrate.”

“You’re crazy! What on earth are we celebrating?”

For sure I have nothing worth celebrating.

“Your newly acquired freedom, silly girl. What else is there?” This girl is crazier than I thought.

“Ariel, I would be the worst party partner.” I’m feeling like a centuries old woman. My body is lethargic and heavy, my energy depleted.

“I don’t care,” she replies. “I just want you to be you. Now, go and get ready, it’s getting late.”

Late? I check the yellow clock she has on the kitchen wall and see it’s barely past ten in the evening.

“Hurry up, Rosie. We are getting the hell out of here, even if you don’t want to.”

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