Page 33 of Rainstorm

I have to get used to calling him that. Chase and I are no longer a couple.

Were we ever one?

I turn on the faucet and wait for the water to warm up, thinking that I need to put my thoughts in order more than I need to wash my face.

“Everything alright in there?” Ariel calls through the door, as time passes and I’m still in the bathroom.

Perhaps she thinks I’ve slit my wrists with her eyebrow tweezers or maybe poisoned myself with one of her hair dyes. I open the door and walk through the small space of her kitchen and living room. It’s not my first time in her place, but I’m still amazed at the colors Ariel has managed to mix up without the décor being overwhelming.

I crash down on the old purple velvet sofa as she passes me a tea infusion. If it tastes as strong as it smells, I’ll be knocked out in a few minutes.

“Drink it all, Roselynn. It’ll be good for you right now.”

“What is it?” I ask before tentatively taking the first sip. “Is it even legal?”

“It’s better if you don’t know,” she replies evasively as she turns to put something in the oven. I shake my head at my friend, although it’s a pretty feeble effort.

It takes a while for the tea to cool before I can drink it all, but I find it is indeed good. Then I take the advice of the mysterious girl with the pink hair to try and get some rest by stretching out on the couch.

But Morpheus never comes, and sleep proves evasive. Not only because I can’t put my overactive mind to rest, but also because even with my phone tucked away in my purse, I can still feel it vibrating.

I just can’t answer it though. I’m not capable of talking with anyone right now. I’m so grateful to Ariel for giving me a place to hide while I get my head around all this, grateful for the silence she offers as a comfort blanket.

I needed it more than I knew.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to anyone. Maybe someday I’ll find an explanation, the real reason for this pain, but right now I just want to mourn my marriage. Live the grief without prying eyes around, without judgment. Without the anxiety caused by someone losing faith in you.

???

Although it’s still dark in Ariel’s small place early the next morning, I know she’s already left as she starts her daily routine at around five in the morning. She’s such a busy bee, never lazy, so full of energy that I sometimes wonder how she does it. Besides her regular workload, she also bakes the best pies and cookies I’ve ever tasted. She sells them in the local area, and all our neighbors are already in love with her sweet creations.

Even though I don’t feel like it, I force myself to take a shower and then get on with preparing some breakfast for when she gets back. It’s the least I can do to repay her kindness.

Then I get ready to leave.

On her return, Ariel stands and stares at me, hands on her hips, wearing a cute fluffy rainbow hoodie, clearly worried I’m still not okay.

“You don’t have to go Rosie, you know that. My house is your house for as long as you need it,” she insists as she hands me another cup of her magic tea. “Plus, I need someone around to be my assistant, to test my new recipes. So, stay. Please. You’d be helping me out.”

“You’re persistent, aren’t you? Determined to be an entrepreneur,” I tease.

“Of course I am. And it’ll pay off, you’ll see, when I hit the big time with my business,” she proudly replies and I laugh. Ariel has set her mind on having her own bakery, a goal she’s taking very seriously.

This is not the first time I’ll have been her tester and it won’t be the last if I stay with her either. But the truth is that she’s really good at what she does, and even if the business hasn’t taken off yet, I truly believe she has a successful future ahead of her.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask. “Ariel, you don’t have to put yourself out for me. I can go to a hotel. I really don’t want to put you to any trouble when you already have so much to cope with.”

She studies me for a minute and hesitates before finally answering.

“Roselynn, I want to help you, not because I have a lot to share, but because I know how it feels not to have anything.”

Her statement takes me off guard and I don’t know how to respond. Her eyes are filled with unshed tears and I sense she has a story tell, but that she’s not ready to tell it yet. And so we both remain silent.

But then the moment passes and Ariel acts as if nothing has happened as she heads off to her room to get ready for her next job. She has responsibilities that cannot be neglected just because I’m invading her life and her apartment.

???

The hours go by so slowly when you don’t have anything to do besides tormenting yourself with questions.

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