Page 5 of Whispers of My Skin

?

Take it or leave it.

Un-fucking-believable. He finds it so easy to impose his ridiculous conditions on me.

Take it or leave it.

He knows full well I’m going to have to say yes. If I’ve dragged myself here, it’s because I’ve no other options. I’ve hit rock bottom.

Indignation burns its way up my throat, leaving a trail of fire that prevents me from forming a coherent answer. As he holds my glare, I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to intimidate me.

Not happening.

“I have some conditions too,” I spit out. No matter what, I can’t allow this to be all on his terms. I do have some self-respect left.

He tries but fails to contain his mocking laughter.

“I’m listening,” he chuckles with a derisive expression that really riles me. Smug bastard, thinking he holds all the cards.

“I’ll marry you, but it’ll be a marriage in name only,” I state. “We won’t share a bed and there will be no sex.” If he’s using me to get the ranch, then I won’t allow him to use me in any other way.

Now he has the nerve to actually laugh in my face.

“Honey, five minutes ago you were offering yourself up to me on a silver platter. Why on earth would I marry you but not take you to bed?”

“First, I am not your honey,” I say, in a hard tone. “And... and... second, things have changed. I never intended to marry you, just… just...”

“Just keep me interested long enough to fix your problems? Use me as a temporary stop-gap solution? That more what you had in mind?”

Yes, temporary, because that’s all I can offer.

“Well, yes,” I admit. “It’s not a bad deal, considering you’d get what you’ve always wanted.”

“And when I’ve served my purpose, you’ll toss me aside? I don’t think so.” He smirks insolently. “That’s not what I want, Tara.”

“And you think I do?” I raise my eyebrows, challenging him. “If I do agree to marry you, what happens next? I become your faithful little wifey? Then what? Are you going to force me to warm your bed every night?

“But that’s exactly what you came here offering, isn’t it? I fix your ranch, you let me fuck you—that was pretty much the gist of it as I recall,” he reminds me, raising his voice. I’m mortified in case someone outside the office overhears our sordid conversation.

“No, Joel,” I clarify. “That was not what I came to offer. I came to do business with you. A business that could be good for both of us.”

“You came ready to trade your body, to sell yourself like a whore.”

That may be true, but he’s definitely playing dirty.

“I was not selling myself,” I yell back in frustration. “I thought, I hoped, that maybe you still wanted me. Like before, when we were younger. Before you left Redlands.”

He glares at me angrily. “You mean before your father threw me out.”

“My father thought you were taking advantage of me. He did find us alone together, half-naked after all,” I remind him.

“We were in love, Tara,” he retorts. “At least I was in love.”

The last part is said in a low voice. Past tense, I note. Is there nothing left? But I know it’s true, he did love me back then, he made that clear so many times. And, of course, I loved him too, which is the whole reason I’m here now.

“Joel, I ...”

He puts up a hand to interrupt me. “Let’s not waste time raking over old coals, it was a long time ago.” He turns and stares out of the window, lost in thought. When he speaks again, his voice is quiet. “You know where I stand, I’ve made my position clear. If you really want to make the ranch profitable again, there will be some tough calls to make. And you know I can handle that, it’s why you came to me. But let me spell out a few home truths for you. If I show up as just another temporary ranch hand with some fancy title who’s only going to be there a few months, it’ll be a lot harder to earn folks respect and get them to take me seriously. As your husband though, they’ll have to accept that I’m a permanent fixture with authority to make decisions. But it’s up to you. Take some time to think it through. When you’ve reached a decision, come back and see me. And bring the accounts for the ranch, I’ll need to study them as soon as possible to gauge how serious the situation is. You have a week.”

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