Page 18 of Whispers of My Skin

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Twelve years previously…

Now that Joel’s actually here, I suddenly feel shy and can hardly look at him, so I stare down at the floor instead.

We’ve been secretly meeting in a disused room, tucked away at the back of the staff quarters that Joel somehow managed to obtain the key for—I didn’t ask how. It’s been great as nobody ever comes here, plus it’s a fair distance from the main house.

Joel pretty much has the run of the ranch now since he’s proved himself to be very reliable and ultra-hardworking. No one has any idea that we’ve been meeting up as often as we can since that day I found him sitting by the pond. We’re crazy about each other, can barely keep our hands off each other, and things have progressed to the point where we’re ready to take things to the next stage. We’re being responsible though. I’ve gotten myself on the pill, for health reasons as far as my mother is concerned, as naturally she has no clue about my real motive.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” I confess shyly.

“Trust me, there’s no other place I’d rather be,” Joel replies, lifting my chin with his fingertip so I have to look him in the eye. Dear lord, how handsome he is, and I adore the cute way his luminous amber eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles at me.

My Joel.

“No need to be scared, babe. I don’t ever want to see fear in those beautiful eyes of yours,” he murmurs, as his hot, wet tongue runs up and down my ear… slowly, very slowly. “Desire, yes, but never fear. If you don’t want anything to happen, then nothing will happen.”

“That’s really sweet, but I want this. So much.” I bite my lip in anticipation of what’s to come. Sure, I’m a bit nervous, what girl isn’t about her first time? But I have no doubt about taking things to the next level. I’ve dreamt of virtually nothing else since we met.

He catches the lip I was worrying between his teeth. Something burns in the depths of my soul, deep, unexplainable emotions—I can’t put into words what he does to me, he just makes me feel everything a thousand times more intensely.

Before I lose my nerve, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to kiss him. A kiss to let him know that I’m surrendering my heart and everything else that I have to him, entrusting him with the most precious gift I have to offer.

Very soon, kissing isn’t enough, and my body is trembling. Not with fear but with need.

Joel takes his time undressing me, savoring the experience, discovering every inch of my exposed skin. Setting my senses on fire with his fingers, his lips, and his tongue.

Oh, my God.

What will it be like having him naked in my arms? I’ve wanted him, longed for him for what seems like forever. But I feel out of my depth. This is all new, and I’m so inexperienced, what if I ruin things?

“I’m not sure what to do,” I blurt out. “What should I do, Joel? Tell me, please.”

Joel pauses, concern etching his lovely face as he studies me.

“Whatever will please you, make you happy, Tara, because you make me happy just by existing,” he answers, sincerity shining in his eyes. He’s looking down at me with such tenderness that my heart skips a beat. Right now, this man is the epicenter of my universe, and I’d do anything to make him happy.

“I want to touch you, to please you.” I’m curious, eager to explore, so I tentatively run my hand over the large protrusion in his pants.

“Honey, if you keep touching me that way, this is going to be over far too soon and I have all kind of plans for tonight,” Joel groans, as he moves my hand away.

Then words are forgotten as he kisses me, our bodies communicating with touch rather than words.

As we lie together on the narrow bed, my breathing is shallow, and I’m giddy with anticipation.

I marvel at the sight of his smooth skin alongside mine, golden freckles dusting his broad shoulders. It’s as if he’s shielding me, guarding and protecting me from the world. Always in control, he uses his skilled fingers on me until I’m desperate for him, knowing that tonight we’re not going to stop.

“Joel!” I cry out when his body finally invades mine. It’s a mixture of pain and ecstasy, but he stills and gently murmurs sweet words in my ear, calming me, comforting me. The pain is soon replaced with pure pleasure as we meld together, until I’m no longer sure where I end and he begins.

Him. Me. Us. Together.

A wave of incredible pleasure surges through me from head to toe, my body contracting around him as I experience my first orgasm with him this way. I cling to him, crying out his name, wanting us to stay locked together like this forever.

He calls out my name as he too reaches his peak, a look of ecstasy on his face as he rides it out, before eventually collapsing on me. His presence is all-encompassing as he lies on top of me, trapping me beneath him, completely and utterly possessing me.

And I love it.

“You’re mine now,” he murmurs, continuing to gently move inside me as he slowly comes down from his climax.

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