Page 83 of Beyond The Stars

“I don’t know all the details, only that her father with whom she lived is deceased which means legally, the child belongs with Ms. Hunter. Here’s the information for your court date,” he said, passing Siasia a packet that contained all the details of the hearing.

"Noodle, please!" Siasia's voice broke, the anguish spilling out as she reached for her sister, but it was too late. Noodle was pulled away, leaving Siasia standing in the ashes of their past, surrounded by the echoes of laughter that had once filled the air, now replaced by the suffocating silence of loss.

With tears cascading down her face, her first instinct was to call Qamar. When he didn’t answer, she called him again and again, her heart breaking each time it went unanswered. With nothing else to do, she pulled away feeling like a piece of her was gone.

Qamar stepped into the house, the pounding in his head echoing the chaos of his day. Janay’s incessant neediness had frayed his nerves, her voice a constant reminder of her dependence on him. Belinay’s fever had only added to his frustration. Her ditzy mama fumbled through the basics of caring for a sick child, leaving him to waste his time at the doctor’s office, only to hear the dismissive diagnosis of teething. Now, exhaustion clung to him like a heavy cloak as he entered the disheveled living room, the remnants of a chaotic day scattered around him.

The distant sound of music barely registered as his gaze swept across the room, but the unsettling absence of Noodle sent a jolt of alarm through him. Long strides carried him through the house, each step fueled by a growing sense of dread. The girls’ room stood empty, untouched since he’d left. As he neared his own room, a soft, muffled sniffling reached his ears, pulling him closer to the source of his concern. With a careful push, he opened the door, and his heart plummeted at the sight before him.

Siasia sat on the edge of the bed, her beautiful face marred by tears that glistened like shattered glass under the dim light. Red-rimmed eyes looked up at him, each tear a testament to the pain she was trying to hide. Qamar felt his heart sink to his feet, the weight of her sorrow resonating deep within him, amplifying the ache in his own chest.

“What’s wrong, mama?” He eased down to her level, also checking her face and body to see any visible wounds, not knowing the wound she felt was skin deep.

The sadness in her eyes turned into rage. “Everything is fuckin’ wrong. Number one, why you ain’t answer the phone when you saw me calling and calling and calling?” she rambled, her skin turning hot from her blood boiling just thinking about him not being there for her. “Secondly, they took my Noodle!” She started swinging on him, hitting him wherever her fists landed.

“Stop.” Qamar tried to grab her hands but she was like wrangling a raging bull and although he was good at everything, bull riding wasn’t one. “Just, tell me what happened,” he begged out of breath while trying not to get hit in the face.

“They took my Noodle and you wasn’t there,” she wailed, falling to the grown. Her will to fight leaving just as quick as it came. Her chest and throat hurt while her body expelled every drop of moisture it had through her sad eyes. “They took our Noodle, Qamar. What I’m gonna dooo?”

His chest raged. “What happened, mama. Who took Noodle?”

“They took my mama, too,” Siasia blabbered, feeling everything she tried so hard to hold in start to bleed out into the real world.

“Where were you, Qamar? I thought you were my Superman. When I look in your eyes, I don’t see the universe anymore—you don’t have all the answers.” Drunk on a broken heart, she said any and everything that came to her mind stabbing him in the chest.

“Janay—” Her red eyes pierced his, making him stumble over his words knowing what he had to say wouldn’t make the situation any better. “Belinay was running a fever so we had to take her to the doctor.”

Sinisterly, Siasia laughed. Her wild hair and wet eyes whipped forward and back, laughing at how stupid she’d been. Qamar could never be hers when he belonged to so many others. It was evident by him not being able to be there for her when it mattered the most.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she admitted in a low tone void of emotions. She was weak and on the verge of breaking down from all the weight grief and loss had on her.

“Don’t say that, mama. What do you need me to do?” Qamar held onto her hands ready to hold her against her will if he had too. “Tell me what I need to do, Siasia. Where is Noodle?”

“With her mama. They took her from me and you didn’t show up, didn’t call me back. You were too busy with Janay. I can’t compete. I won’t fuckin’ compete. It’s over.”

“What you wanted me to do?” Qamar’s voice was laced with frustration, but Siasia’s heart was pounding with a different kind of urgency.

“Not have so many kids and baby mamas and fuckin’ families!” Siasia hollered, her hands falling helplessly to her sides. She felt dumb. Dick stupid. The words spilled out like a dam breaking, each one heavy with the weight of her emotions. “I needed you and she needed you. You made a choice—it wasn’t me.”

“That’s not fair, mama. I didn’t know.” He huffed, hating the way she was twisting reality to fit the fucked narrative that Cynthia’s daughter could only be loved by a man like Stacy.

“Life isn’t fair. Trust, I know. And love ain’t loyal.” She scoffed; her nose turned up.

“I know this shit ain’t ideal, but I can’t not be there for them. I ain’t have no daddy. Shit, I ain’t have a traditional mama for a long ass time. I know how that shit feels in my chest, so I’m willing to do anything to not put that on my babies ‘cause they ain’t ask to be here.” His voice softened, but the truth of his past hung in the air like a thick fog, wrapping around them both. He did have other families because no matter how much he wished he could remove Janay from his life, he couldn’t. Janay was as much a part of his family as Belinay, Esmeray, and Malaysia.

Hating the idea of walking away with nothing, Siasia decided that a consolation prize was just as good. “Then give me one too. Give me a piece of you to have forever like they got.” The words burst from her lips before her mind could catch up, a raw admission of her deepest desire. Dick dumb. Love’s fear. Siasia was terrified that Qamar would one day choose them—those women who shared his children’s DNA—over her. The thought twisted in her gut, a painful knot of jealousy and insecurity. She couldn’t bear the idea of being just another name in the background, the one who loved him fiercely but never enough to truly belong. She couldn’t bear watching someone take him away the way Jackie took Noodle from her because Jacory wasn’t hers. And like the boy who wanted to give her anything she wanted, Qamar kissed her, their lips meeting with a desperate urgency.

Passion turned into pain as their gentle kisses transformed into aggressive nipping of each other’s lips, a chaotic dance of love and longing. Each kiss was a silent plea, a promise wrapped in uncertainty as they both fought against the shadows of doubt that loomed over them. In that moment, the world faded away, leaving just the two of them tangled in a web of emotion, where fear and desire intertwined like the very fabric of their lives. With everything in him, Qamar pumped into Siasia, delivering deep, stabbing strokes.

“Ow,” she winced, both hating and loving how deep and aggressive his pounds were.

His deep strokes dominated her body, sending convulsions through her legs. His calloused hands yanked on her loose natural hair, exposing her neck where he nipped and sucked, making sure to leave her body marked up.

“Fuck, mama. You trying to leave me, huh?” The way he dug her out, she couldn’t answer if she wanted to. The only thing coming from Siasia was croons and groans of pleasure.

She panted, looking up at the ceiling, remorse filling her as thoughts of Noodle swarmed in her mind. Thinking about her sister, tears rolled down her cheeks. Just as quick as they fell, Qamar was licking them. The saltiness of her tears served as a binding ingredient—a little bit of spice, a little bit of sugar. And everything nice. He growled when he dipped his legs, to slow stroke her while still having her legs around his waist.

Siasia tangled her hands in his locs while staring in his eyes. “I’m about to cum.”

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