Page 73 of Four Times Forever

"What are you doing?" His eyes darkened, the creases in the corners of his eyes became more prominent and it wasn't because he was smiling.

I raised up on my toes and leaned forward to kiss my Ryan, the one I'd missed and longed for since that fucked up replacement came and possessed his body.

"You don't want to do this." He held me back, whispering against my lips.

"Why not? I kissed you earlier. I can kiss you again." I breathed and leaned forward.

His forehead dropped to mine and he groaned, rubbing our two thick skulls together.

"Because I can feel your nipples boring into my chest," he breathed.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I moaned.

"It is, when my cock is so full and I can smell your arousal on your breath." He cleared his throat and I shut my mouth.

"Ew. Is it bad?" I gasped.

And he chuckled. Oh, he chuckled and my heart did a somersault, thudding into my stomach.

"No. It's intoxicating. And I want you. I do. But we're alone," he said.

"You keep listing pros like they're cons." I licked my lips.

He grinned again and his hands tightened on my arm, not hurting me, but burning through me to my core.

"If you were anybody else I didn't love as much as I love you, I would rip your clothes off right here and fuck you over the back of that sofa." He cocked his head and my insides turned to lava.

I panted. "Sounds good to me."

"But I love you and damn it, I'm committed to doing the right thing from now on. That isn't just reserved for my drinking and anger management. I mean everything." He turned me around and my internal organs combusted. "So, why don't you go on in there, wake your men up and make them very happy, while I pine for you and steam in the bed of fire I made for myself." Ryan spoke against my neck and fuck, why was he the one making sense here? "I want to be good enough for you, Lily. And I don't believe I am, just yet."

"Isn't that up to me to decide?" I countered as he walked me back toward the hallway and ushered me toward the bedroom.

"Are you telling me that you trust me completely not to lash out in recklessness and hurt you again?" he asked.

My chest tightened at that question. I opened my mouth on the defense, but nothing came out.

"Good night, Lily." His eyes narrowed and he groaned.

For a moment, I thought he might walk toward me again, grab me and make good on that suggestion to fuck me over the couch. Except, he pulled away with inspiring restraint and headed back to the living room. I stood in the hallway for a moment, catching my breath and getting my knees to work again.

They turned into instant noodles as the sound of my name on a groan sparked through me. I walked back toward the edge of the hallway and took a peek into the living room, to find Ryan, stripped naked on the couch, stroking his thick cock, working up a craving deep in my stomach for dark, sweet, caramel, hot on my tongue all of a sudden.

This topped all other moments I'd been aroused. Ryan, committed to doing the right thing, and torturing himself instead of fucking me when he had me in the palm of his hand, made him ten times hotter. Tempted to go over there and buss it wide open on that wide tip, I took his advice instead and headed to the bedroom.

Chapter 52

Lily

Since when did I just smile for no damn reason? As a matter of fact, when was the last time I didn't wake up with a racing heart and sickness in my stomach? I re-entered the room to gaze upon the reasons. The soft light caressed their skin, and despite the way their mouths hung open in their desperate fight for air, I thought about how beautiful they looked and how much I'd love to paint them. Knowing that they wouldn't stay like this forever, I rummaged through our luggage for a camera and noticed that Ryan didn't carry his, neither did Matt or Eric.

Frowning, I picked up my phone instead and snapped a picture. Pride swelled inside my chest at the thought that they were all mine, and I was inspired to share with the world how lucky I was. So, I snapped a few pictures before pressing record and capturing them and the room. My heart skipped a beat when I thought about Ryan's declaration of love last night. And how he stopped me from making a decision I still hadn't figured out whether it was right or wrong.

It didn't sit right with me that he wasn't included in the pictures or this mini vlog. Sure, that's the reason I'm easing the door open to tip-toe down the hallway toward the living room. Because it doesn't sit right. Not because, despite how well Matt, Eric and Ethan gave me every single inch of them after he sent me away last night and I loved every second of it, none of them could give me him.

Ryan had managed to put his boxers on after last night.

What a shame.

---