Page 31 of Four Times Forever

I sniffled.

"But I promise you, I'm working on it. This is not an empty promise." Ryan commanded my focus on him. "I'm sorry I freaked out." He breathed. "Thanks for calling the therapist."

Okay. Awkward silence. I cradled myself.

Ethan stopped chewing midway to look between us.

Ryan rubbed the back of his neck. "I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since last night, you know? Thanks to Matt. He also...um...guessed that you were speaking to a therapist from the Women's Shelter. We didn't want to disturb you, so he went ahead and called, and got through to the therapist you spoke to. I have an appointment booked for next week."

My eyes popped. "That's awesome. I'm happy for you."

Another awkward silence that Matt came in and broke, thank goodness. His anchor tattoo was on full display. There was sweat trickling down his happy trail. I pulled my eyes up and cleared my throat as he tossed his sweaty shirt over the backrest stool and downed some water from his bottle.

Ryan turned back to the food he was preparing.

"Hey." Matt lit up when he saw me. "Did Ryan give you the good news?"

"Yeah." I half-smiled and nodded. Ryan came strolling toward me with a hefty plate of food. I paused for a second, but the rumbling in my stomach told me to take it.

Matt picked a sausage off my plate and surprised me with a kiss on my cheek. Ryan headed out the glass doors to shout for Eric to come out of the pool for breakfast. Eric dripped water all over the tiles, his hair slicked down past his shoulders, abs catching water droplets. He narrowed his eyes at Ryan; they had a silent stand-off, but he accepted the food. And just like that, they fell back into a routine as if all was well with the world, stopping every so often to flirt with me.

I almost believed that it was as I picked at my food and watched them.

Terry Thornbread would have never been caught dead in the kitchen looking after food for the family. And that's what we were, weren't we? A family?

Chapter 24

Lily

"So, the wedding..." I brought it up in bed that night. Yes, I was back in their bed because my willpower was shit.

Eric smiled at me with lazy eyes. "What about it?"

Ethan had just finished brushing his teeth and locked off the bathroom light to stroll toward us. Matt was rubbing moisturizer on his face. I was in my spot in the middle of the bed, legs crossed and back propped up against pillows.

"What I said about getting married as soon as possible..." I played with the stitching on the bottom of my long, no-sex zone, pajama legs.

It was like I had pressed pause on an invisible remote. Eric's eyes widened and just stayed there. Matt froze in the mirror. Ethan stopped putting on his deodorant.

"What's cha...." Eric propped himself up on his elbows to ask, before realizing his question wouldn't have made any sense.

"What are you saying? You don't want to marry us?" Matt turned. His voice was soft. Compassionate. It helped me breathe easier.

"I'm not saying that. It's just that I think it would be a good idea to put it off for now." I tilted my head to the side and shrugged.

"For now? Or forever?" Eric searched my eyes.

I gulped. "Definitely not forever."

Although I wasn't too sure when. I had let myself fall into a fantasy because I had never experienced a love like this—well, love period. Unless you consider my friendship with Ann-Marie. And what I thought I felt for my mother, but maybe that was a sense of obligation.

I experienced love for the first time with them and I became every cliche I mocked, losing my head in La La Land, because it felt so good. After all, at my core, I would always be an addict. But no one is perfect. I let myself think they were.

Oof. Compared to anyone else I'd ever met, they were.

They were my safe place. My light at the end of the tunnel.

In some ways, even though we were missing one, they still were.

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