Page 18 of Four Times Forever

Lily jumped up. Her phone and paintbrush tumbled into the soft green grass.

This close...I came this close to revealing everything. My body wanted to lose control, but I couldn't let it.

"What happened?" She ran her finger across my cheek which I was now realizing was damp.

Fuck, Eric. Get it together.

"I...uh...I..." I stuttered. Shit.

Holding me, she led me to her stool, which she used when she was painting so she didn't get too comfortable. It was too small and rocked under my weight.

"Did someone die?" She assessed me and stroked her fingers through my now damp waves.

I froze at the question, running through the list of lies that rushed through my head like computer code. I went with the first thing that jumped out. "I think I hit a deer on the way back." The words came out as a broken whisper.

Lily went silent but let out a breath. When our eyes met, she smiled and my heart started working again.

"Oh, Eric. You're such a big softie. You had me scared half to death." She sighed.

Can we stop talking about death?

"Did you come out and check?" She wrapped me up in her arms, and damn it, I fell into her. I needed this fucking hug more than I needed air. My arms came up and tightened around her. I forgot I was even holding anything as I clutched on to her for dear life, hoping she wouldn't ever let me go and I would never come this close to losing her again.

"What's that?" she asked.

I didn't care and I wasn't looking.

"Are those underpants?" She grinned. Her body jerked from her laughter, and I let it soak into my body before I raised my head and followed her eyes to the ground behind me.

Right. The wedding. Hell, I needed the distraction just as much as I wanted to distract Lily.

Getting my head to work again and stop spinning, I reached for it. Come on, happy-go-lucky Eric. Jump in and save me. My hands were still shaking a little when I bent to pick them up.

"I...uh...got something for our honeymoon." I forced a smile. It was easy enough when her eyes were playful and teasing. But the teasing evaporated as soon as I saw it. "What's the matter? You don't like it?"

She grabbed the satin material and hugged it close to her. "Might be a while until I get to see you in it."

"Why, what happened?" I asked, turning to see her painting. "That's interesting." I referred to her art piece, trying to make out what it was.

She looked at it and back at me before taking her seat again at her stool. "I was thinking that maybe we should postpone the wedding."

"No!" I said way too quickly. She jerked back as if I had just ejected a storm of wind at her. "I just mean..." that there's no way we can do that. What else am I going to fill your time with, to keep you from finding out what I almost told you a few minutes ago? How am I going to keep myself from spilling if I'm not filling my time with something thought-consuming. I pulled out the ring. "I went into town today and got you this, because I wanted to re-do the whole proposal with a ring of my own. Plus I've got a shitload of wedding stuff in my car. I think we can all use something good to look forward to."

Her eyes teared up at the ring and she shut the box.

"I agree." She nodded. "But marriage? Ryan is falling apart..." she started.

"All the more reason. He needs something positive to focus on..." I interjected.

She shot me a look. "That doesn't mean he's ready for marriage."

Okay...tread carefully.

"What's really going on?" I asked.

"What do you mean, what's REALLY going on? As if Ryan falling apart isn't reason enough..." She narrowed her eyes on me.

Yup. She was looking for an attack. As much as I wanted to convince her to do what I needed her to do, she needed me to listen even more. So I shut up. Her watery eyes became apologetic and her voice softened.

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