Page 17 of Four Times Forever

I gulped. "I'm starting to become afraid of him."

"Are you in danger? Has he hurt you?" Her tone was steady, not alarming, thank goodness, because the question certainly was.

"No! No. He's not like that. Well, he hasn't been like that. I know who he is deep down," I continued.

"Lily..." She interjected.

"I know what it sounds like, okay? But I've lived around monsters, been with monsters. Ryan isn't one of them. He's just broken," I said.

"And you think you can fix him," she finished.

"No, I don't. But that's why I'm calling you. I'm hoping you can." Desperation lifted my voice.

She sighed. "Have you spoken to him about it?"

"About what?" I asked.

"Getting help?" she clarified.

"Well, he knows he needs help. I'm sure he'll..." I came to his defense.

"I'll tell you what, speak to him about it first. And if he agrees, I'll see about creating a safe environment to accommodate him. I can't help someone who doesn't want help. But if you want my advice, off the clock, as a friend, not a therapist, it sounds like you're making excuses for him, like you've done before. I suggest you walk away before things escalate."

Chapter 13

Eric

Okay, so when I headed out, it wasn't my intention to come back home with a car packed to the brim with wedding stuff. I needed a drive out to clear my head, figure out how the hell Mrs. Thornbread was so certain. I'd been replaying every moment since we did what we did, sifting through the images of my memory and trying to pinpoint whether or not we said anything in her presence. Nothing came up. I'd driven so far, I had no idea where I was. The only thing that got me to stop was a bridal shop in town.

Now I had a stack of wedding planners in different styles, His (and his plus three) and Her vow books, bathrobes, eye masks, hell I even got myself a skimpy pair of boxers with 'Hers' typed out around the crotch area. I got suits, yup, I picked out suits for all four of us, and shoes.

And no, I didn't use Ethan or Matt's money. My bank account was hurting after spending a shit ton of my savings on all of this. We didn't work out how the ring situation would go, but I got her one anyway, a small pretty one that she could stack with the others if she wanted. It was unassuming, but the price in no way matched the simplicity of it. What a stupid buy. As if she was going to wear four rings.

Luckily, my online videos were still bringing in a somewhat stable income, and my wealthy friends took care of most of the expenses, without question. I didn't like taking advantage, but I didn't want to get even the slightest whiff of my bank balance.

I had no idea what I was thinking. Except that I was worried about facing Lily. Now that her mother was gone and it would be just us, at home with her, it would give her time for her mother's words to settle, marinate like a good old stew. She'd mull over it until it became hard to ignore. We'd say something or do something, that would make her look at us differently, make her mother's words fall into place like a puzzle. And I couldn't let that happen. I had to distract her. Keep her mind off the wedding and remain in the clear.

That's if she wasn't already having her doubts.

As the gates opened and the car crawled up the long driveway, I spotted her sitting in the garden with a canvas.

Okay, so she didn't look like a woman who was ready to rip us apart.

My aching, aggressive heartbeat softened a little and I let myself breathe. Stuffing the ring in my pocket and grabbing those stupid boxers from the car, I made my way towards her. It became clear, the closer I got, that she wasn't relaxed. She stared blankly at the canvas before her, face tense, eyes distant, rigid. Had she been crying? My pulse started a riot again.

"Hey..." I approached her, gauging her reaction.

There was none. She didn't acknowledge me at all. Fuck, she was mad. The invisible walls around me started to close in and in my head, the stuff in my car caught on fire. Our future, gone up in flames.

"Lily. I'm so sorry." I began. "We didn't mean for things to get out of hand."

Nothing.

"Lily!" I yelled. "Please don't hate us. We did it because...because." I was falling apart.

Her head jerked up and her eyes caught mine in a slow acknowledgement. My heart stopped. She reached up under her damp hair. What was she going to do? Plug her ears? What were we? Five.

"Hey, Eric. Were you saying something?" Lily asked and it took everything I had, not to fall to my knees in front of her when she pulled out her cordless earphones. She let her eyes move over me and they went wide. "Eric, babe. Are you okay? You're shaking!"

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