Page 105 of Four Times Forever

"What? Of course not. I'm assuming he did what he did because he was angry. And because Terry deserved it."

"Mom!" I couldn't form any other words.

"How many times am I going to sit here and make excuses for that man's actions? He played with fire and got burned. I'm sorry. I'm done making excuses for that man." She sucked air through her teeth as I looked in different directions, trying to make sense of what I was hearing.

"What changed?" I asked.

"Coming home to a different house helped. A good therapist." She sighed and a laugh slipped out.

"But you can't justify what they did...?" I shook my head. "I said something awful to them. I kind of regret it, but I think I said it because it confirms what I've believed all along. That I'm the reason they're so screwed up now."

"All along?" she asked.

"Yeah. They were different after my kidnapping. There was even a moment I thought I was helping Ryan by booking a therapist. He got so mad, I saw Terry when he threw that glass pitcher in mine and Eric's direction and it shattered into the wall behind me." I confessed, needing to hear her take on it.

"He threw the pitcher at you?!" Her eyes burned with rage. For me. That was a first. And I took some relief from it.

"He wasn't in his right mind. And technically, he was throwing it at Eric. I don't even think he intended to hit us...Fuck, there I go making excuses for him." I rolled my head in my hands. What were we even talking about? Why hadn't either of us picked up the phone to call the cops yet?

"How did the other guys react?" She leaned back in her seat.

"They were ready to go to war for me," I admitted. "Ethan and Eric cut off the friendship, basically. Matt tried to help him, went to therapy with him. I think it's because he knew why he'd done what he did. And that wasn't who Ryan was before I infected him."

"The way they went to war for you before, with Terry," she said, offhand, ignoring my self-blame. "Has he done anything like that since?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Is he still a drunk?" she asked.

"Not for the past month. And I only took him back after I saw he was truly remorseful," I rushed to add.

She thought.

"Well, based on what they've proven to you so far, I'd say that if he ever messes up again, you have three bodyguards ready to go to war for you. Otherwise, if he's getting his shit together, I think you have more liberty than most to see if that change remains. If not, you have protection," Mom concluded.

"What?! But what about murder? They killed someone!" I thought we were missing the bigger picture here.

"Not someone. Terry and that other idiot. It took me a long time to get to this point, but I'd dig up his grave just to kill him again if I could." Mom drained the last of her drink and got up from the armchair as my open mouth and wide eyes followed her into the kitchen.

"You're not going to call the cops?" I asked.

"Is that why you told me? You wanted me to take the responsibility off your hands?" She smiled at me. "Well, I'm sorry, baby. You came to the wrong place."

Shit. I thought that was exactly why I told her. Now what?

"If you want them locked up, you're gonna have to be the one to make that call. But if you want my advice, I'm telling you to hear them out," she shrugged.

Chapter 65

Lily

Taking advice from my mother, of all people, was not a good idea. Yet, there I was, getting off the boat to the island to keep things discreet.

"Thanks so much." I paid the boatman with the money I decided to take from my bank account that Ethan and Matt topped up monthly. The money I didn't want to touch. I was surprised the boatman was so willing after he got the hell off our property that night when the guys treated him like some kind of villain.

"No problem." He took the money without questioning why I'd need to take the boat to my own home.

Before I marched onto the narrow dirt path now filled up with grass patches, I took a deep breath. I didn't know what I was doing there or what I was going to say to them. It had been a week since their confession and although I shouldn't have, I missed them. I'd re-read their text messages to me a thousand times, looked back at our pictures together, yearned for a conversation with Ann-Marie that would steer me on the right path before tossing my phone, since she was married to a mobster.

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