Page 32 of Four Times Forever

But I might have let my delusional ass get too caught up and now it was starting to slap me around as it became clear to me that we might have rushed into this.

I didn't know Ryan as well as I thought I did. I didn't want to be married before I learned the truth about each of them. And yeah, there's no way to know every part of someone, the ins and outs of who they are, deep down. People barely know themselves most of the time. It's based on trust and if the illusions shatter around you, they just do. You deal with that and figure out how to move forward with that person or without that person.

The problem was I didn't have that instant trust in them anymore. That was a good thing, I supposed.

But I didn't know how to strike that balance between trust and common sense. Because once the questions were unleashed, there had since been no way to silence them.

I wouldn't say all that to them. I wouldn't stop talking.

One day, when it felt right. That was my answer. Right now, it didn't.

"Okay." Ethan reached out to stroke my knees. "If that's what you want."

"Yeah." Matt's face creased but he nodded nonetheless.

Eric took a deep breath and laid back on the pillow, staring at the ceiling, probably wondering how we ended up here. I knew I was.

"You're still up for going to Florida next month, though, aren't you?" He asked after a moment of silence.

What was with him and this whole going to Florida thing?

"My parents will be disappointed over the wedding, but I'm sure they'll understand. They're really looking forward to meeting you though." He held his breath for my response.

Okay, now I felt like a jackass. Of course he wanted to see his parents. There was no crime in being excited to introduce us. Besides, I owed the life I now had to them. If it wasn't for them, I would be in the ground somewhere. They didn't know how grateful I was. How would they? We'd shared a few phone conversations, but that was it.

"I'm excited to meet them." I smiled, a surprising weight lifted off me at the admission.

In fact, I'd go to town tomorrow to get them some gifts. It took me back to when Eric and I started hanging out with each other when we were kids and I was so impressed with who his parents were, his mother, especially.

"I can't believe it's taken me so long to meet them." My body eased lower into the mattress.

"Don't take it personally. In all the years we've known Eric, we've only met them a handful of times." Matt got into bed next to Ethan.

Eric was on the other side of me. There was still enough space for one other person. My heart ached, wondering what he was doing. I shook it off and tuned into the conversation.

"Always deployed. But they're great people." Ethan shut his eyes against his pillow.

"Yeah. To be honest, I don't know them as well as I want to. I guess that's why it's so important for me to spend as much time with them as I can. Before it's too late, you know?" Eric got choked up.

"Hey." I reached out and placed my hand on his chest. He covered it with his. Our eyes locked and his heartbeat started racing. Mine did too. Instead of jumping his bones like I wanted to, I snuggled into the warmth of his body and held him. "I would trade my parents in for yours in the blink of an eye."

"You're already part of the family," he said. He kissed the top of my head. "And once we get married, we can make it official."

I took a deep breath, and on the exhale, it rattled. I wanted that, I did. I just didn't trust what I wanted anymore.

Chapter 25

Tyler

My wife huffed. Her hand braced against her lower back and she tapped her index finger against her bottom lip. "What did I come down here for again?"

I looked up from the file of stored contacts that I was sifting through as she rapped her foot outside my office door.

"Did you have the car key?" I asked.

She whipped around to look at me as if I had frightened her out of whatever world her thoughts had transported her to.

"Keys!" She popped open her shoulder bag to check, before pulling it out and jiggling it. "Got it. That's not it. Baby brain." She groaned.

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