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Matt laughed and hugged his arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry. We won't tell anyone." He whispered against her cheek.

"Ooh. Your breath doesn't smell like vomit." She teased.

He frowned and blew his breath in his hand. "It shouldn't. I took advantage of that mouthwash you asked the guy to bring."

"It doesn't." She smiled and pecked him. "Is Ryan okay?"

I brought my brows together. "Yeah." The word left me in a rasp. I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yeah. The throwing up just took a toll on him. Let's get you back to sleep."

She pulled me in and sniffed me before smiling. "You guys want to join me, or are you feeling too tender?"

Matt pulled off his white sleeveless undershirt and pulled her toward him. "Try and stop me."

It was going to take a lot of sex to distract Lily from now on. You know what, I was okay with that. As long as everything stayed under wraps, everything was going to be okay.

Chapter 42

Lily

Over the past four weeks, we had been back and forth between the AirBnB and our home. Let me tell you, I had no idea just how colossal—is that the word?—our island was when I spent the first night there.

With two living rooms in the main house, two homes, basically—because the 'guest house' might as well be a mini mansion—an indoor swimming pool and an outdoor swimming pool in the main, so many bedrooms, three kitchens (two in our home and a ginormous one in the guesthouse), we'd had our decorating work 'cut out for us'.

I kept discovering new places every time we went back, new rooms, new trails. I was convinced it would take me at least a year to get to know the whole island islet. It had been a feat, but a welcome one. It certainly kept my mind off the memories.

By the end of the night, I'd been so tired, I hadn't been able to even look at my men. And my brain shut off completely, so no nightmares for me.

That was a win. I'd trade the sore shoulders, feet and back pain for the torture of my nightmares any day.

We'd gotten most of the furnishing and decorating done. There was enough space for all of our visions to have a place, but Matt and Ethan had basically just given me their cards and told me to go for it, do whatever I wanted with the place.

I'd never spent so much money on so many ideas at once. After a while, the guilt had me folding. I refused to keep buying brand new expensive stuff when we could get the used version for even cheaper. So, Matt and Ethan stopped giving me their cards, started coming to the store with me and started telling me to pick anything I wanted and not look at the price tag.

Insanity.

But exhilarating, I must admit. It was like living in a fairytale.

Overwhelmed, I'd also hired an interior decorator to help me because there was just no way I could have furnished and decorated two mansions without professional help. With all the work, I'd almost managed to forget that four weeks ago my life was hanging on a thread and that my worst nightmares were still out there, walking around free as a jail bird, ready and waiting to attack me at my most vulnerable.

Almost. Until today.

It was the last day before we moved into the new place permanently. I'd considered leaving everything behind at my mother's home and getting new stuff. Heaven knows I didn't need any of my stuff that was there. But it was also the day my mom would be moving to the island. She'd already endured so much change and we had no idea what she was thinking, that I didn't want to make another drastic change without at least taking care of her comforts. Just because she didn't speak, it didn't mean she wasn't terrified on the inside.

As horrifying as it would be for me to have anything from that house in my presence, the upside was that she would technically have her own home on the island. It was only fair she got to keep her memories. I wouldn't have to see them. Or at least, I'd be able to prepare myself before I did.

Just like I was doing now as we headed over to the old house. My body started shaking the moment our van made a turn onto the street. I could see the small, yellow house with the paint stripping off the walls, moving toward me, and it was like I was watching myself walk out through the door, ignorant to Terry and his henchman lurking in wait for me. My chest expanded until my back ached. Heavy like a thousand bricks, anticipation rested on my chest. There was no escaping his face. It was like the wraith of him was daring me to come closer. I could see him smiling that horrible grin, even though he was obviously not there.

My head throbbed.

"How're you doing, Lils? You sure you want to do this?" Eric asked from the driver's seat. My eyes flashed to him and his face was hard, his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.

Ethan was rubbing my shoulder a little too hard. Matt was holding my hand a bit too tightly, and Ryan was shaking. His shaking resonated with me and I reached for him in the front passenger seat and gave him a squeeze.

"It's okay." I soothed him while soothing myself. I didn't know why he was shaking but it broke my heart to know that Terry not only had me trembling in fear, but his effect had passed down onto them as well. "It's okay." I cleared my throat and straightened my shoulders. "I can do this."

"Are you sure?" Matt scowled at the house. "We can turn around right now and leave. You don't ever have to see this place again."

"And I won't." I forced through my tightened lungs. "After today, I won't have a reason to come here again." I patted Matt's hand.

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