Page 96 of Four Times Saved

The moving van was becoming too small now. I pushed into Ethan to open the door and he did. I let the air fill my lungs and regretted it.

The scent was still the same. I recognized the neighbors cooking. It was the weekend. One neighbor in particular kept up a junk food tradition. Every weekend, they either bought it or fried it. That day, I could smell the onion rings and the fried chicken. For some people this would be comforting. For me, it was terrifying, because I had been kidnapped on a weekend, with the scent of fried, greasy food in the air.

I shuddered. "Let's just make this quick." I looked to my men for their support and the pace of my racing heart eased a little bit when they nodded.

"It's okay, no one's ever going to be able to harm you with us here." Ryan placed a shaky hand on my shoulder, stopping me from glancing behind me every five seconds. "We've got you."

"Wait!" I hesitated after stepping a foot forward.

"What is it?" Ethan's eyes widened and he looked around us.

"What if he came back? What if this is where he's hiding?" A chill ran across the back of my neck and I trembled.

"He's not." Matt asserted.

"How could you know that?" I narrowed my eyes at him, irritated that he wouldn't take my concern seriously.

He stuttered. "I-it's.."

"If he was here, the police, the military... they would've found him already. It's the first place I told them to look." Eric reassured me.

But I wasn't so convinced. The house wasn't surrounded by tape or cops or anything. He could've come back.

"Do you want me to go in and check first?" Ryan offered.

Air rushed from my lungs at his suggestion.

"Would you?" My throat stung.

I tightened as he stepped inside the house. Shoving Ethan in behind him, I waited there frozen, unable to feel Eric and Matt next to me.

"All clear," Ryan and Ethan announced from inside the house.

Only then did I feel my body again.

With one last inhale, I marched in. I felt like I was holding my breath the entire time I was inside. The security cameras looked at me and instead of putting me at ease, I shivered at the thought of being watched. The front door itself scarred me. Muffled were the memories of the distant past as the more recent memory of him turning his key into that lock and entering the privacy of our space flashed back at me. Him prowling the hallways.

I stood dead still at my doorway, remembering the way he'd leaned up against the bedroom wall and made unsettling comments about my body after catching me in the act with my men. I gagged, throwing my hand to my mouth. Eric moved to stand in front of the door. Together all of them blocked it off as if they could read my mind. Eric steadied me with his hands on my shoulders.

"Breathe," he instructed. "That's it, my love. You don't have to look at it. You don't have to go in there. You'll be okay." He caressed my head and the warmth of his rough hand gave me something my father never could.

I found confidence in his words and hurried past the room, into my mother's. Ethan popped open the new suitcase and bags, and I just started throwing shit inside it. My dead brother's picture, my mother would need that. The rest of the stuff, I didn't even look at. I couldn't tell you what they were. I cleared off her dresser, emptied her closet, and just grabbed whatever looked important as fast as I could before rushing out the door.

I paused for an unnerving second and considered taking the brand new TV Ethan or Matt had bought and the new couch. Those memories washed over the torturous ones for a few seconds. They symbolized the first times we met, the butterflies I felt when I knew I was falling for every one of them. The renovated walls reminded me of the way they touched my heart, the moment I walked in on them all talking about how much they wanted to be with me. It was the first time I was hearing it and my pulse had stopped and restarted. It pulled together the memory of the garden I wasn't able to see on the way in, because the grass was overgrown and there were weeds taking over the flowers after Ethan had made it so perfect that day before he left.

Tears filled my eyes.

"Come on, we'll make new memories." Matt moved in to hug me from behind and kiss my cheek.

I sniffled. "How do you guys always seem to know what I'm thinking?"

"Because we're all one soul." Ryan took my hand and kissed my knuckles.

"If we aren't, we ought to be." Eric stroked his thumb across my cheek with a chuckle.

"Come on. Have you grabbed everything your mother will need?" Ethan asked.

I nod.

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