Page 44 of Rock Strong

“Exactly.” He nodded. “And then I broke her heart by breaking up with her.” He set down his fork. For a moment, he looked lost in the past. He swallowed softly.

“Why, if she was so special to you? If you don’t mind my asking,” I said.

His eyes focused on me again. “Point Break had just taken off, Ab. I felt that being on tour all the time would be a challenge for her and me. I wanted to live the rock ’n’ roll lifestyle, make it big. A girlfriend didn’t fit into that picture.”

Ouch. So he’d let her go. “You didn’t want a ball and chain.”

He shook his head, seemingly angry at himself. “I hate that phrase, too. No, that’s not it. I didn’t want to hurt her when I knew I most likely would.”

“Is that why you got into a fight with Tucker when he called me that?” I cocked my head.

“In part, yeah. But also…” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I feel I’ve known you a long time, so what the hell.” He took a sip of water and set it down again. “I carry around a lot of guilt, Ab. Just a part of me, I guess.”

“About what?”

“About letting her go.”

“Your high school girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“But why? It’s not like you meant to hurt her.”

“I know, but she was there for me, and then right when she needed me, I bailed on her. The band was starting to get serious attention. Girls were coming out of the fucking woodwork, and I knew—knew…it was a matter of time before I’d succumb to the partying, the playing, the exploring women. I didn’t want to cheat on her, Abby. I didn’t.” His face fell. “And then—ugh.”

There was more. I took one of his hands in mine. “What?”

I thought maybe he would pull into his shell and refuse to talk, but he took a deep breath and went on. “I found her. On my bathroom floor at my parents’ house. She overdosed on sleeping pills. This was after our big fight.” He released my hand and pushed it through his hair. “She survived, but…” Liam shook the memory from his head. “She never talked to me again after that. I lost a friend. I caused her to hurt herself.”

Ahhh, so that was it.

“Liam, I’m so sorry,” I said, taking his hand again. “That sucks. But that was not your fault. You did the right thing by letting her know ahead of time, by breaking up with her before you had the chance to cheat on her. Instead of betraying her, you told her you weren’t ready. That was well done, Liam. More than my own father did with my mom.”

Now I was the one to drop my head and almost lose it. I hadn’t thought about my father much over the years. It was something I’d just accepted, so I’d moved on and focused on the things I could control about my life, but sitting here talking to Liam about it, I guess I hadn’t realized just how angry I was. Tears stung my eyes, and I couldn’t finish my food.

If I had any reservations left about Liam, they disappeared at that moment. I knew if ever I was in the same situation with him, he’d give me fair warning, and that was huge peace of mind to me.

Soft fingers lifted my chin to look at him. “Then you have to realize that your mom not getting that cello position wasn’t your fault.” He peered into my pathetic face, shaking my chin like he was talking to a child. “Okay? Say okay.”

A burst of sad laughter escaped me. “Okay.”

“Geez, what a downer of a dinner date I am, huh?” He grinned, scooped up a forkful of his rice and beans, and extended it across the small table toward my mouth. I opened up despite my big smile, and he fed me his dinner. “Good girl.”

I could laugh and cry hysterically at the same time. Maybe it was the way he said my name, or the way he took care of me, drove me around, made sure I’d practiced my song, given up a forkful of his own meal… Maybe, just maybe, I’d been holding in more than I realized, and all it took was one conversation with Liam to suck it out of me. I had officially crossed that line—I was in deep. If he hurt me now, I might never recover.

“You know what we need?” He slapped his cloth napkin on the table dramatically. “After flan and espresso, of course.”

“What?”

“A relaxing night. No show, no hurrying, no janitors nearby ready to intrude on us in public rooms.” He snickered. What a beautiful smile he had, the way it lit up the darkness of our little corner. “I say we go back to my room, take a long bath, and I give you a fantastic full-body massage.”

A massage. Suddenly, all the dreams and fantasies I’d created involving me massaging him invaded my brain. And my body. “Hmm, that doesn’t sound opportunistic at all…” I pursed my lips at him.

He folded his hands in front of him like a well-behaved schoolboy. “You don’t have to return the favor if you don’t want. I just want you happy and relaxed. Shit. I can’t have my solo cello player fucking up during our song, breaking a string, crying, blaming me for it. Next thing you know, we lose the next record deal, the band breaks up, fans the world over want their money back… Complete anarchy.” He made a big show of waving his hands and doing a bunch of fake scoffs.

I laughed out loud, throwing my head back. Rarely had I laughed this way with Samuel. “I knew you had an ulterior motive, mister.”

He leaned up and out of his seat, just to kiss me. His delicious scent filled my nostrils. “Only to make you happy, Abby. Nothing more, nothing less.”

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