Page 2 of A Constant Love

“I told you I was your boogeyman, Samantha, and I meant it. I will haunt you your whole life…which will be over only when I see fit.”

He began walking toward the door but turned back to say, “And don’t even think about telling your little detective friend. Before he can get to me, I’ll make sure to get to all those people you love. Besides, who would believe you over a decorated FBI agent?”

With a final evil grin, he walked out the front door.

My lungs exhaled the breath that I felt I had been holding for minutes, and the tears that had been contained broke through the dam.

Collapsing onto my knees, I began to sob.

Chapter 2 – Sam

I had no idea how long I sat on the floor and cried. After holding in tears for so long, they came flowing out seemingly with no end in sight.

I cried for the baggage I carried with me all these years later. I cried for the weight of the fear I would now also constantly carry with me. I cried at the fact that clearly, I was never meant to have my happily ever after with the man of my dreams.

Whores don’t get happily ever afters.

James voice rang through my head, and his words echoed like surround sound.

Was he right? Was I never meant to be happy? Was I always just meant to be the broken girl with no hope at a decent future?

No.

I wasn’t going to think like that. James could think whatever he wanted of me, but I was no whore. And after all the shit that had happened in my life, I sure as hell deserved my happy ending.

When the tears finally ceased (probably due to the fact my body just ran out of any excess liquid), I had to pull myself together. I figured Tyler would be home soon, and I couldn’t let him see me like that.

Part of me considered telling him what happened. I mean I wanted to tell him more than anything. I promised him no more secrets. But I couldn’t put his life at risk, or anyone he cared about for that matter.

No. This was my cross to bear, and I had to do it alone. As much as I had let Tyler into my world, I couldn’t play fast and loose with his safety, even if it meant pushing him away…again.

Instead, I had decided to continue to live my life as best as I could…while I still could. I might not have all the time in the world, but I would spend what time I did have with the man I loved. Although I would live in fear, I refused to stop living my life.

My mind still fixated on the fact that James was a federal agent. Only my stupid luck would allow for such a horrible fucking coincidence.

But I guess really it wasn’t a coincidence at all. After he had seen Tyler with my dad back on Thanksgiving, he must have sweet talked the waitress into letting him see the credit card receipt, which Tyler paid for. Being an agent, it would have been simple enough for James to figure out where Tyler lived.

After that, it would have been all too easy for him to find me…and watch me…and follow me.

Four years after the worst night of my life, I would have thought my attacker would have moved on. Despite his obvious flaws, I can’t believe James didn’t have a line of women waiting around the block to distract him from his obsession with me. He was still handsome, on the outside anyway. He’d grown into himself over the years, and his confidence and charisma were unmatched.

Maybe he did have someone waiting at home for him. Or maybe other women could see the obvious signs that he was a sociopath that I seemed to completely overlook.

Whatever might have been going on with James personally, I knew that I would have to deal with him now being a permanent fixture in my life.

He was right. He was my boogeyman. But it wasn’t merely the dark I had to be afraid of. It was everything. It was life.

After I had composed myself, I fixed myself a glass of whiskey (that was a bit fuller than I would normally pour it) and made my way to the couch. I was desperate to make myself look as normal as possible, but every time I tried to appear relaxed, I felt even more awkward.

What do I usually do with my hands?

Mindlessly, I flipped through the channels on the tv, but I don’t think I paid attention to what was on any of them. My mind instead tried to come up with exactly what I was going to say to Tyler when he arrived home because I knew he would want to know every detail.

Nothing I came up with seemed good enough…probably because every lie I came up with made me feel like a horrible human being.

Before I could contemplate further though, I heard the garage door open. Exhaling deeply, I tried to appear like nothing was off.

Less than a minute later, my sexy man came walking in the family room.

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