Page 1 of A Constant Love

Chapter 1 – Sam

F.B.I.

I read the letters over and over again, but I couldn’t seem to truly process them.

James…the man who was my first love, the man who raped me back in high school, the man who found me again and attacked me a month ago and had been stalking me ever since…was in the fucking FBI?

Every muscle in my body felt like it was paralyzed except my fingers which stroked over the badge as if trying to find some hidden flaw to indicate it was a fake.

Nothing.

It was real.

He must have seen the wheels turning in my mind because he began to speak. “Oh Samantha, bet you didn’t see this one coming. Did you really think I would get caught? Did you really think I wouldn’t have a plan?”

Swallowing hard, I tried to pick which question I wanted to ask. There were so many to choose from.

I decided to start with, “Your name is James Sinclair, so why the hell does it say Jim Adler on your credentials?”

He began pacing back and forth across the room, shoving his hands in his pockets as he answered. “Needless to say, our little incident back in high school left a bad taste in some people’s mouth. I knew I wanted to join the bureau eventually, and to do that, I needed a fresh start. So, legally, I had my last name changed to Adler, my mother’s maiden name. And Jim is just short for James.” He shrugged as he muttered the last words.

“Okay, so how did you just disappear without a paper trail? If you had changed your name, there would be proof of it; the cops would have found it.” The words came out, sounding as if I was trying to convince myself more than anyone.

His pacing stopped and he walked toward me and leaned in close. “Samantha, I’m in the FBI; I can make anything disappear.”

The smell of his cologne burned my nostrils as I was instantly transported back to his attacks on me. This man who seemed perfectly harmless to most…the man who paraded as an absolute gentleman…was a complete monster behind closed doors.

He kept talking. “In fact, I could make anyone disappear too.” The words came out in a low whisper as he gently stroked my cheek with his finger, making my entire body recoil.

Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I refused to let him see any form of weakness. He had already seen me weak enough as he raped me once…and beat me twice.

“James, why are you here? What do you want?” I tried to make my tone as clipped as possible, in an attempt to portray annoyance rather than fear.

Anger replaced his calm demeanor as he began to circle me, like an animal stalking his prey. “Don’t play coy with me, Samantha. You know why I’m here! You and I have unfinished business.”

My eyes met his. “Haven’t you had your fun with me? You raped me. You beat the shit out of me more than once. Haven’t you had enough?”

“Oh no, our fun is just beginning, sweetheart. See, back in high school, you decided to be a little whore and embarrass me. You ruined a good thing, and when I tried to teach you a lesson, suddenly, I seemed like the bad guy.”

A chuckle escaped me. “How were you the bad guy? Hardly anyone believed me! I was the town whore, and you suffered no consequences at all for what you did to me!” My anger and hate seeped into every word as my voice escalated in volume.

“Oh, stop acting like you didn’t enjoy it.” His lips turned up into a sickening grin.

Memories of he and his friends violating me in every way possible flooded my mind. They beat the living shit out of me. I felt the bile rise in my throat.

James continued. “And just because everyone thought you were the town whore didn’t mean they thought I was a saint. There was still that flicker of doubt that questioned if I really was a monster. I was always aware of the stares I would get or the whispers wondering if I was really a rapist.

“I had to change my name to join the bureau. I had to start my life over again somewhere new to avoid the memory of you. Then, you show up at Thanksgiving with a new boyfriend in tow and try to act like you’re living a new happily ever after? No, I don’t think so.”

Enough of this bullshit.

I interrupted, “So, why not just kill me and get it over with?”

His gaze snapped back to me. “Now, what fun would that be? No, I am going to toy with you for a while longer. See, I am going to watch you squirm…because I have eyes and ears everywhere.

“Samantha, this is how this is going to go. You aren’t going to tell a single soul that Jim Adler and James Sinclair are one in the same. If you so much as utter a single word to anyone, I will come after everyone you love. That boyfriend of yours. Your dad and brothers. Even that nice housekeeper you have working for you. I got some information off her cell phone while I was here last, and those kids of hers sure are beautiful…be a shame if they lost their mama in a tragic accident.”

My heart rate climbed, and terror ran through me as I struggled to swallow the lump in my throat. I silently questioned how far his reach really went, but I wasn’t willing to take any chances with the people I loved to find out.

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