Page 60 of A Constant Reminder

Her eyes grew wide. “What’d he want?”

“Wanted to talk. Wanted me to forgive him so we could be friends again.”

“And you said?”

“I told him no.”

She sighed. “Why?”

“Because there are some things you just don’t forgive,” I said, my voice devoid of emotion.

“You mean like how you fucked Marisol right in this very office? Is that what you mean? Is that unforgiveable?” She tapped her finger against her chin. “No…wait. I did forgive you for that.”

“it’s not the same thing, Kansas,” I avoided her eye contact even though I could feel her stare piercing a hole straight through me.

“You’re right. He’s your friend. He shouldn’t have done what he did, but I mean you forgave Marisol.”

Now, I looked at her. “Why does everyone keep saying that? I didn’t forgive her!”

In her most sarcastic tone, she replied, “Oh, you’re right. You just started hanging out with her all the time again and pretending nothing happened. And you fucked her. But no, you’re right…that doesn’t mean you forgave her.”

“Okay, maybe I see your point…a little,” I held my hand up gesturing my fingers to demonstrate exactly how little.

She climbed onto my lap. “Look, I am not saying you have to forgive him right away, but maybe just give the guy a chance to be back in your life. You did that for Marisol, and I think he deserves that same courtesy.”

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her and feeling her warmth against me.

“Why do you care so much, Kansas?” I asked.

She shrugged. “When you and I first started doing all this, you told me that sometimes, it’s hard to tell who your real friends are especially when some only want to know you because you’re rich. Sounds like Andrew is willing to come here and get the door slammed in his face just to try to be your friend again. Maybe that’s worth not giving up on.”

I quietly considered her words, but she kept going.

“Plus, if I ever talk to him, I’m going to thank him.”

“Why the hell would you thank him?”

She grabbed my chin and moved my face, so I was looking at her. “Because maybe if he and Marisol hadn’t done what they did, we wouldn’t be here today. I mean you guys were clearly in a game of relationship chicken, and if she hadn’t ended it, who knows how long it would have gone on for? In a strange way, the whole chain of events led you to me…or me to you…however you want to look at it.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me, and I wondered if she was right. How long would I have kept pretending with Marisol? Would I have eventually had the guts to walk away myself? Or would I eventually have felt backed into a corner and went looking for my own affair?

I didn’t have any of those answers, but I did know that I loved Sam, and I was damn grateful to have her in my life and by my side. If she wouldn’t have forgiven me for my indiscretion with Marisol, she wouldn’t have been sitting in my lap at that very moment.

Maybe I had been looking at the situation all wrong. Maybe it was time to let the past be the past and move on.

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