Page 74 of When The Night Falls

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‘I’m very sorry to hear about Andy and Chloe,’ Mum said after a sip of her favourite red wine. ‘I’m sure they’ll get back together, though. This isn’t the first time they’ve hit a bump in the road.’

‘Yeah, I’m convinced it’s only temporary,’ I said.

‘I trust you’ll make sure of that,’ Dad said and gave me a crooked smile.

‘Alex and I are working on it at least.’

‘Meanwhile,’ Jason said, ‘I’m just minding my own business.’

I chuckled. ‘You’ve certainly got a knack for it.’

‘How about you, dear?’ Mum asked and looked at Cara. ‘Do you have a special man in your life?’

I hadn’t anticipated it, but my stomach sank when Jason wrapped his arm around her chair as if to mark his territory.

‘Only me,’ he joked.

‘Yes, only you,’ Cara said with a smile and reached for her glass of wine. ‘But on a serious note, the answer is no. I’m very committed to my studies, so I’m not interested in dating anyone at the moment.’

The reminder irritated me. Hadn’t I heard her pathetic excuses enough times by now? Would I ever see the day when she wouldn’t rub them in my face?

‘I’m sure a lot of men are very upset about that,’ Dad flattered her amusedly. If only he knew he’d mocked his own son while he was at it.

As if his statement had prompted her, Cara’s eyes slid in my direction, but she averted them as soon as they collided with mine.

‘I hardly think they’re missing out on anything,’ she said, and I was surprised by her humility. Did she not know the extent of her power? How effortlessly she rendered men senseless with lust? How far they would go for a mere second of her time?

‘I’m really quite boring,’ she continued. ‘They’d grow impatient with my thirst for knowledge rather quickly, I expect, as it would probably come at the expense of their ego.’

Dad leaned back, and I could tell from his expression that her reply intrigued him. ‘With all due respect, dear, I think you underestimate men – the decent ones, at least. In fact I’m sure that spirit of yours is precisely what would attract your admirers in the first place.’

I almost said ‘thank you’ since he had spoken my mind, but I resisted because it would have exposed our secret.

A smile surfaced on Cara’s plump lips. ‘I hope you’re right.’

‘He’s definitely right,’ Jason said with a shake of his head. ‘You’re remarkable, and you ought to know it.’

His confidence led me to focus on my dish because I suddenly couldn’t stand the sight of him. Since I had experienced it before, although never quite so intensely, I recognised jealousy when it unfurled within me, but never had my own brother been the target of it.

When I arrived here, I hadn’t expected to feel so rigid, much less this momentary resentment toward my brother which, if left untreated, could easily fester. Their familiarity triggered my envy because I yearned to know her like that. I envied him for having the freedom to wrap his arm around her shoulders without her shying away from his touch, and I envied him for having constant access to the enigmatic alleys of her mind.

He had told me that he didn’t fancy her that way, but he was still a man. He would have to be blind, deaf and lack a cock not to feel even the slightest twitch in his pants around her. He might not view her in a romantic light, but I had no guarantee he wouldn’t ever consider her in a sexual light. A couple of pints in, he could easily make the mistake. He had done it before with my friend Harper.

Did I really have to count on Cara to retain the decency not to play us for fools? Did she even care about us being brothers? I knew she cared for Jason, but it wasn’t with ease that I relied on her to do the decent thing. The impression I had was that she was perfectly – if not too – capable of separating sex from feelings. In light of that, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she could sleep with Jason without giving further thought to it – unless he forced her to.

It was reasonable that I would experience discomfort at the thought of Jason entering her the same way that I had, but what didn’t make sense was my jealousy. Why did I yearn so desperately for her innermost secrets, for her body to invite my caress? And why did it bother me that other men could have the pleasure?

I continued to ride on that train of thought for quite some time until the answer dawned on me all at once.

This wasn’t mere lust. This wasn’t about my vanity; I wasn’t on a quest to repair a bruised ego.

I had fallen in love.

Under any other circumstances, I would have enjoyed the realisation, but since I knew Cara was far from interested in being with me, I was instead rather upset.

‘He’s signed out,’ I heard Jason say just before Mum called for what I realised was the third time, ‘William, darling. Hello?’

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