Page 65 of When The Night Falls

At first, the possibility intimidated me, but when I realised where my thoughts were headed, I frowned at myself. First of all, I had no claim on him, and secondly, I had no plans to ever sleep with him again. Ultimately, this information shouldn’t have bothered me.

But somewhere deep within, it did.

Just my ego, I thought. Get a grip, Cara.

‘Yeah,’ William finally replied, and my heart sank even lower.

‘Why the hesitation?’ Jason asked.

‘Well, my head’s got a mute button reserved for your voice, so I just wasn’t listening at first.’

‘God, you’re such a tit.’

‘Anyway, yeah.’

‘How are things going with her?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Has anything changed since we last spoke about her?’

I should not have been as relieved as I was when William laughed.

‘Changed?’ he echoed. ‘Are you asking whether things are evolving into a relationship?’

‘Considering your reaction, I gather they’re not.’

‘Not even close. It’s just sex, J, and always will be.’

‘What does that mean for Francesca, then?’

Freezing, I stared blankly ahead. Francesca? William was involved with yet another woman?

Somewhat repelled, I wondered how long his list of lovers actually was. Disappointment came next. For some reason, I hadn’t thought him a womaniser. I had thought him above that. The impression he had given me was that he was fastidious about his choice of partners. Clearly, I had been naïve to think that. Then again, considering his unconventional charm and attractive appearance, it shouldn’t have surprised me that he had a queue of women just waiting for scraps of his attention.

For the first time, I experienced a moment of pure gratitude that I had rejected him. To have to battle for his attention wasn’t remotely appealing. I wouldn’t settle for anything less than a man who recognised my worth from the outset and treated me accordingly. To fight to persuade him to pick me, to urge him to see that he should favour me above the rest – my integrity would never let me sink so low. Just like every devoted woman, I deserved to be treated like I was the only woman in the world for him when it came to matters of romance.

Groaning, I asked myself why I was even entertaining this lane of thought. A relationship with William was out of the question, so why should his conduct with other women matter to me? I should have been happy about this. He had just reinforced my resolve about not pursuing anything more with him. And yet, despite this, disappointment still dominated my feelings, and I scolded myself for it. Who did I think I was? I had no right to be disappointed that he was seeing other women.

‘Why should my arrangement with Violet have anything to say with regards to Francesca?’ William replied, sounding confused.

‘So you plan to see her again, then?’

‘I haven’t decided yet.’

‘Because she’s Kate’s friend?’

Who on earth was Kate? Yet another lover?

‘For example.’

‘What other reasons are there?’

‘Well, she’s not my type – too sensitive and emotional.’

‘Yeah, that’s a bad match.’

‘And she seems rather keen, so I’m worried I’ll end up hurting her.’

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