Page 62 of When The Night Falls

‘No.’

Jason nodded. ‘Well, feel free to answer him.’

I shifted, feeling uncomfortable. ‘It can wait.’ I grabbed my chopsticks.

Jason looked at William. ‘Aaron is Cara’s . . .’

Shut up, Jason, I almost said.

William raised a brow when Jason trailed off. ‘Boyfriend?’

Jason chuckled and shook his head. ‘Sort of, only Cara doesn’t date.’

‘Oh.’ William finally looked at me. ‘Why not?’

I swallowed and averted my gaze, trying to recover my equilibrium. Why was he asking me this again? I had already explained why.

‘Well, because this is my only chance to be selfish,’ I said and met his gaze.

‘By “selfish” you mean . . .?’

Feigning nonchalance, I brought a few pieces of maki onto my plate. ‘That I want to take advantage of my freedom while I still can. As soon as the time is right for finding a man to settle down with, my personal aspirations, like my career goals and things like that, will have to take a backseat. He’ll be my main priority then, and I’m not ready for that to happen just yet.’

‘Right.’ He took another bite.

‘I just feel like I can contribute to this world with more than my ovaries, or the role of a girlfriend.’

A faint smile bent his lips. ‘Are you trying to say that finding love isn’t really your goal in life?’

I shook my head. ‘I wouldn’t phrase it like that.’

‘How would you phrase it, then?’

‘It’s more precise to say that finding love isn’t myonlygoal, and as of now, it definitely isn’t mymaingoal.’

Jason gave me a smirk. ‘But it will be later? Your main goal?’ His playful tone elicited a chuckle from my mouth.

‘Perhaps. At least I won’t dismiss the idea. But for now, I really love law, and I think I can be good at it. I’d like to practise it for a few years, nurture my passion for it, before I consider other aspects of my future.’

William cocked his head, studying me. ‘You are quite the anomaly.’

‘What, because I’m a careerist? Aren’t you the same?’

He scratched his cheek. ‘Not really. I’m ambitious, yes, but I’m not mainly concerned with advancement in my profession.’ He shrugged. ‘I think that applies to most people, to be honest. I mean, it’s my impression that people in general tend to be searching for a partner to settle down with. That’s why your lack of interest in it seems a bit...unusual to me.’

‘Well, our situations are different, so maybe that’s why you can’t relate. You’ve already got your foot in the door, so you can afford to consider stuff like that. I haven’t. I still have to claw my way in. Plus, you’re John’s son. That’s bound to give you more leeway.’

Jason snorted. ‘I’m sorry, Cara, but that’s bullshit. Will has worked extremely hard his whole life to get to where he is. In fact, he has to work twice as hard as everyone else in the firm because he’s Dad’s son – he constantly has to prove that he was hired for his abilities and not because of nepotism. Honestly, being Dad’s son just raises people’s expectations of him. They don’t cut him any slack, and Dad least of all.’

The ghost of a smile flickered across William’s lips as he watched Jason, and there was clear gratitude in his gaze.

‘He’s just super family-oriented,’ Jason went on as he lifted a piece of sushi. ‘He’s wanted a big family for as long as I can remember.’

Feeling remorseful, I focused on William. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to belittle your efforts.’

‘No worries.’ His smile oozed forgiveness. ‘I get your point, anyway.’

I sighed. ‘Basically, I just think there’s more to this life than chasing love. It’s so primitive. Procreation? Really? Is that all there is?’ I shook my head. ‘It’s not – not to me. There is the option to make the world a better place for those already in it, there are intellectual challenges, there’s personal growth – really, the meaning of life doesn’t have to be about reproduction, and certainly not exclusively.’

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