Page 15 of The Proximity Factor

“Are you afraid she might make you come back to the land of the living?” Javon asked point-blank.

My first instinct was to say no, but if I were being honest with myself, the answer was more complicated. I’d been using my struggling company as an excuse to push anything personal to the back seat. But in reality, it was more than an excuse. It was a shield. What did I have to offer any woman right now? I’d been living in cramped apartments for the last three years, barely making ends meet. Not only that, but I wasn’t sure I could ever trust another woman as implicitly as I’d trusted Maren.

As I sat lost in my thoughts, Ethan moved next to me and asked, “Dude, are you ever going to date again? It’s been three years since your divorce.”

“I’ve dated a few women.”

“Talking to the women in your game’s online chat doesn’t count.” Ethan smirked.

Pete and Javon laughed.

I didn’t bother responding to Ethan’s half-accurate insinuation. “Are we here to talk or play?” I needed to make sure I’d worked out the graphic and audio glitches in the upcoming release.

“Fine, fine.” The guys put on their headsets.

“You could at least order pizza,” Pete grumbled.

I supposed I should do that, and maybe stop being a prick too and consider more than just myself. I appreciated these guys more than they would ever know. Even if Ethan was angling to date my off-limits roommate.

While thinking of said roommate, she walked in, and every head whipped her way.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Lanie waved, keeping her gorgeous head down. “I didn’t know you were having another LAN party. I’m just sneaking back to my room. Don’t mind me.” Her voice sounded like she’d been crying.

My friends all looked at me as if I were the reason she was upset.

I threw my hands up, showing I was innocent. At least I hoped that was true. Had I made her cry? If so, it was never my intention.

“Hey, Lanie, are you okay?” Ethan asked, full of concern.

I knew his game. He was going to offer Lanie a shoulder to cry on and then ... well, let’s just say it would be more than his shoulder he offered.

Lanie paused and looked up. Her swollen and red baby blues pricked me. Yet she plastered on a fake smile. “You’re so sweet. I’m fine. Really. It’s just been a rough day.”

“Join us. It will make you feel better. I brought an extra controller for you.” Ethan was doing his best to worm his way in.

I both hated and envied him for it.

“Thank you, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She turned and hit me with what at first appeared to be a glare, but closer inspection showed deep sadness.

Someone had hurt her. I had a sinking feeling in my gut it was me, and I loathed myself for it.

“I would hate to get in your way,” Lanie’s voice hitched. “After all, I’m only good for eye candy.” She ran off crying.

Ethan shoved my arm while Pete and Javon shook their heads at me, disgusted. “Did you say that to her?”

“No. Of course not. I would never say that to a woman.” Sure, I told her we should do our own things, but I’d never belittle her in such a way. I didn’t think of women as eye candy, but I had to wonder who had said that to her. Whoever he was, he’s an even bigger jerk than I am.

“Man, you should go talk to her,” Javon said.

I stared blankly at him, running that scenario through my mind. He was right—I should. There was a time I wouldn’t have even had to think about it. While attempting to stand up, an image of me embracing Lanie to console her suddenly appeared in my mind. I could almost feel her slender figure flush against mine and smell her soft scent as her hair tickled my nose and caressed my cheek. I wanted to breathe her in and take away her pain. Which is exactly why I sat back down.

I couldn’t open that door. I was too afraid of what it might lead to.

“BRACE YOURSELF,” VAL WARNED OVER my phone’s speaker.

Even though it was ninety degrees on a Saturday night, I snuggled under my covers and hugged my pillow. “Lay it on me.”

“Well, it’s official. Meribeth has called off the wedding.”

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