Page 119 of The Billionaire's Demand

‘Yes, I see you, Raul. I understand you, maybe better than anyone ever has, because in so many ways we’re the same. We’ve been through the same rejection. The same insecurity as children. The same holes in our lives where loving parents should be.’

‘We are not the same.’ He spoke quietly, calmly. ‘Were you beaten by foster parents, Libby, for having the temerity to watch television after school? Were you told that the world would be better without you? Not just by one family, but in different ways by each family you were sent to live with, until it became the refrain you heard each night as you fell asleep?’

She closed her eyes on a wave of grief that threatened to envelop her. ‘I wish I could take those things away from you,’ she said. ‘I wish they’d never happened. It’s all so wrong.’ Tears sparkled on her lashes. ‘But Raul, that’s why I have to say this, and I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you need to hear it anyway. I love you.’

He closed his eyes, his nostrils flaring, but Libby carried on. She’d known this would be hard, but it was vitally important. Even when she was terrified, loving someone meant going out on a limb and for Raul she would do that.

‘I—’ she paused, enunciating each word ‘—love—’ her hand lifted to his chest, fingers splayed wide ‘—you. All of you, just as you are. I see value in you, strength, kindness, goodness. You are important, and worthy of being loved, of being part of this family. I love you.’

‘Stop.’ He reached for her hand, put his over it, his eyes boring into hers. ‘Just stop.’

She shook her head. She’d expected resistance. She knew he might never be able to accept her love, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to say this, to tell him how she felt.

‘Why?’ She took a step closer. ‘Because you’re scared to let me love you? Because you’re scared to let anyone close?’

‘I have been honest with you from the beginning, haven’t I?’ There was a plea in his voice. ‘This wasn’t about love. Not ever.’

‘It was always about love,’ she contradicted. ‘I’ve never really believed in things like fate and destiny. They seem like such dangerous concepts to me. The idea of leaving the happiness of your future in the hands of unseen, intangible forces—how crazy. We make our own futures, our own happiness, our own destiny. But how can either of us deny that fate had a hand in this? I have only slept with one other person, Raul, and that was years before I met you. I’m not someone who has casual sex with strangers, but it never felt like that with you. I didn’t understand it at the time, it’s only looking back that I can see things with clarity. From the moment we met, I knew you were different. Important somehow. Right from the beginning. Tell me you didn’t feel the same about me,’ she challenged, then immediately wished she could take the words back, because she desperately didn’t want to hear any such thing from his perfect, beautiful mouth.

Yet she stayed the course. Brave in the face of fear, confident in her love being enough to overcome anything.

‘I didn’t,’ he said, but quietly, gently, as though he didn’t want to hurt her. ‘I don’t.’

Her heart cracked but she didn’t flinch outwardly. ‘You’re afraid.’

His eyes flexed. ‘Am I?’

‘You might not want to admit it, but yes, of course you are. In here—’ she drummed her fingers against his chest ‘—you’re still the same little boy who was hurt over and over again and you’re scared that if you let me love you, I’ll hurt you too.’

‘Damn it, Libby.’ She’d hit a nerve. He took a step back, dropping her hand, putting space between them, his back ramrod straight. ‘Don’t act as though you understand me.’

‘I do understand you though, Raul, and I love you.’

‘Stop saying that,’ he demanded, raking his fingers through his hair. ‘This is not what we agreed.’

‘Yeah, well, I’ve got news for you, buster. Life doesn’t always go to plan. Remember? We’ve said that before. I didn’t know I loved you when we started doing this, but I know now, and I want you to know it too.’

‘Why?’ he asked, looking at her as if truly, desperately searching for answers. ‘Why do I need to know any of this? It changes nothing.’

Her smile was sad, wistful, but she didn’t shy away from this conversation.

‘Maybe not today,’ she said with a lift of one shoulder. ‘Maybe not tomorrow, or in a month, but eventually, when you get used to how much our child and I love you, to the fact we’re not going anywhere, that there’s nothing you can do that will make us love you less, it will change everything. One day, you’ll wake up and see yourself as I do, you’ll see that you’re worthy of being loved. That you can accept it, welcome it, maybe even return it.’

‘No.’ The word was cutting, spoken quickly, an instant rejection. ‘It’s not possible.’

‘How do you know?’ she asked, her throat feeling thick, making it hard to swallow.

‘Because this is a choice, Libby. I have chosen to live like this.’

‘A life without love?’

‘A life without vulnerability and weakness,’ he corrected. ‘The kind of feeling you’re talking about is the opposite of everything I want. I refuse to allow it.’

‘You can’t refuse to allow me to love you,’ she said. ‘That’s preposterous.’

‘But I can refuse to be affected by your love, refuse to be changed by it. I don’t want to change. I’m happy as I am.’

‘Liar,’ she said with a firm shake of her head.

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