Page 120 of The Billionaire's Demand

‘This is what I want,’ he said emphatically. ‘I am in control. I depend on no one.’

‘What about when our baby is born?’ she said, taking a step closer to him, then pausing when he stiffened, obviously not welcoming any contact. He didn’t respond, simply looked at Libby with a question in his eyes, so she shook her head gently. ‘You don’t think you’re going to love him or her? That you’ll be vulnerable and dependent on how much you adore our child?’

Raul’s expression didn’t soften. If anything, it grew more determined, more stubborn. ‘I will give our baby everything necessary.’

Something shifted inside Libby. ‘You’ll love our baby.’

‘There are other things that matter just as much as love.’

Libby stared at him, her heart slamming through her body. ‘Not to a child,’ she murmured.

‘You will love our baby,’ he said, softly though, as if needing to convince himself of this path. ‘You will love our baby so much they will never doubt their value and worth. You will fill their heart and soul with belonging.’

‘And what will you do?’ she asked.

‘I’ll be here.’ The words were dragged out of him, and Libby felt only sadness then for this big alpha guy who’d been so badly shattered by his childhood. ‘I will support our child, encourage them, be in their life. That has to be enough—for both of you.’

Libby’s eyes swept shut. ‘You won’t even let yourself love this baby, will you?’

‘Does it matter?’ The words were bleak.

‘Do you really think so little of yourself?’ she said with sad acceptance in her tone. ‘You don’t think it matters that you will be in our baby’s life and not love them?’

He focused on a point beyond Libby’s shoulder. ‘This is our deal.’

‘No, it’s not,’ she whispered. ‘You said you wouldn’t love me, but I always presumed you would love our child.’

‘Why would you presume that?’ he pushed. ‘You should know better than anyone that it’s not a guarantee in life.’

She flinched.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, lifting a hand in the air. ‘I did not mean to hurt you. Only you’ve told me about your mother, how she was with you...’

‘And it’s exactly what I don’t want for my child.’

‘I have no intention of treating our child like an irrelevancy,’ he said. ‘My priority is this family. I will keep you both safe and comfortable, I will do everything in my power to ensure you are both as happy as you can be.’

‘But you won’t love us,’ she whispered, pushing this point because it was the beginning and end of what Libby wanted. Everything else was beside the point.

‘No,’ he said finally, and even though Libby had been expecting this, it was still, in many ways, the dropping of the guillotine. She took a step back, nodding distractedly, eyes stinging with unshed tears.

‘And that’s really what you want? You really choose this?’

His eyes met hers and for a moment she felt his anguish and pain and wanted to keep pushing, to try to find the heartbroken little boy inside of him and make everything better for that child. But then he closed himself off, visibly straightening, his features becoming taut and unyielding. ‘Yes.’

‘Even when I am telling you that I understand? I understand you’re scared, I understand why, and I will walk every step of the way on this journey at your side, understanding that you will make mistakes, that you will need help sometimes, to really let yourself love. You’re not even willing to try?’

His eyes slashed through her. ‘You’re wrong about me, about all of this. I hope you can accept that.’

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

SHE COULDN’T. SHE wanted to. She wanted to because she knew that loving Raul meant accepting this was his way. She couldn’t change him, not if he didn’t want to change, but she could prove to him that she was different to everyone else in his life, by sticking by him, even when he was doing his level best to push her away.

Wasn’t that the point? He’d never had anyone actually stick with him.

He’d been passed around from foster home to foster home; he’d never been accepted and welcomed and loved. He’d learned to develop a thick skin because he’d had to, and now Libby had a chance to show him that she really was different.

But living with Raul after that conversation was a lesson in despair for Libby. She felt it every moment of every day. She was going through the motions of her life, rattling around the enormous penthouse as if in a nightmare from which she couldn’t wake. He was there, yet they rarely spoke. He enquired after her health each morning, her pregnancy symptoms, but it was all so cold and businesslike, it left a yawning chasm in the centre of Libby’s chest.

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