Page 94 of Cross the Line

CHAPTER 17

Alec

Alec runs faster than he ever has before. His lungs burn and his legs ache as he pushes himself past his limit, unable to quiet the noise in his brain and the itch under his skin.

When the familiar sight of his campus apartment building comes into view he runs faster, desperate to get back home and shower, desperate to change out of Theo’s clothes which went from from feeling like a safe embrace to a dirty reminder of all the ways he fucked up. He knew it was stupid to say yes, knew nothing would come of it, yet he’d pathetically taken anything Theo offered. The worst part is that he can’t even regret it, even as his heart breaks, because he would do it all over again and that alone makes him feel like an idiot.

He takes the stairs two at a time, not thinking about anything except escaping to his room, when he arrives at the door and realizes his key was in his jeans.

“Fuck.” He knocks on the door, hoping Hunter is the one to answer.

He’s not.

“There you are.” Antonio drags his gaze from Alec’s head to his toes in a way that makes Alec feel uncomfortably exposed. “You didn’t come home last night and?—”

There’s no way Alec can do this. Pushing past Antonio, he walks into the apartment only to be met with the wide-eyed stares of Logan and Hunter, who pause their video game to gape at Alec. To make things more complicated, Riley is here leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, his entire face falling when he catches sight of Alec. He can’t even imagine what he looks like. His fucking clothes—Theo’s clothes—are way too big, he ran all the way here and he’s so tired. And his hangover, which had seemed like nothing while Theo touched him, has returned tenfold, making his head pound and his stomach churn.

“Alec?” Antonio’s voice is low, gentle somehow, and that makes it so much worse.

“I know I’m sexy, but can everyone please stop staring at me?” Alec says, trying for funny and missing by a mile, judging by the way Riley looks at him with undisguised worry while Hunter elbows Logan, whispering something.

“We’re gonna go get something we forgot,” Hunter declares, shutting off the television before grabbing Logan’s arm and all but pulling him off the couch. “We’ll see you guys later.”

Logan spares an extra glance at Alec, clearly unsure, but follows Hunter towards the front door without protest, leaving him alone with Riley and Antonio.

“Alec.”

Before Riley can get started, something in Alec finally snaps.

“It’s—” Except he can’t say it. After years of longing and wanting, it finally happened, and he’s not sure how the best thing that’s ever happened to him can also feel like the worst.

“Did he hurt you?” Riley asks, voice like venom. He crosses the room to put his hands on Alec’s face, tipping his chin up.

Riley might be younger than Alec, but he’s got that big brother energy that reminds Alec of his own brothers, which is unexpectedly reassuring considering Alec can’t tell his siblings what happened, not even Charlie. It’s too risky and he won’t do that to Theo, but the secret is like lead in his gut. Not telling his brothers about his virginity had been a choice. This was something else, and those kinds of secrets twist Alec up inside. He hates secrets.

“I’ll kill him if he did,” Riley grits out at Alec’s silence.

“Calm down, Rambo.” Alec tries to smile but it's more than he can handle.

“I’m serious,” Riley tells him and Alec knows he is. He knows Riley would do anything to protect him, just like he did that night they met. He’d given the other guy a black eye and scared him off ever coming near Alec again. While nine times out of ten it’s unnecessary, it’s always felt good to know he had Riley in his corner, to know he had someone who didn’t judge him, who he didn’t have to hide things from.

“Am I missing something?” Antonio asks.

Alec scrubs a hand over his face, trying to figure out what to say next. After that night, he hadn’t been ready to tell anyone, not even his best friend, and somehow as time passed he’d still never felt ready.

“You don’t have to tell anyone,” Riley says, pulling him into a hug. His arms are strong and safe, and even though it would be so easy to stay there and hide, Alec knows he can’t.

“Tell anyone what?” Antonio’s eyes dart between Riley and Alec.

“I think I want to,” Alec whispers, so goddamn tired of keeping secrets he feels like what’s left of him might shatter if he has to hold one more in.

It’s obvious Riley isn’t sure what to make of Alec’s change of heart, which is fair considering Alec’s made sure to change the subject any time Riley even got close to ever mentioning it. Pulling out of the hug, Alec turns, offering Antonio a shaky smile.

“So, uh, fun fact about how me and Riley met. You’ve asked and I always refused to tell you because he found someone trying to…trying to—” Theo’s earlier words come back to Alec. Sexual assault. Something Alec had refused to admit, even to himself. He’d convinced himself at least part of it was his own fault, while refusing to admit how much it had twisted him up inside. That stupid night had been haunting Alec for too long, tainting his every interaction and making him afraid to even let a guy kiss him in case he got accused of leading him on. He’d downplayed it, ignored it, until it all came spilling out to Theo that morning. Now it’s like an open wound that he wants to cover, but also one that he knows he needs to finally let breathe.

“Alec.”

“Riley stopped someone from sexually assaulting me,” Alec blurts.

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