Page 35 of Cross the Line

Fingering the worn cotton, he can’t help but wonder when Theo wears these. He answered the door in a sweater, but there’s no way he slept in it. Does he sleep in them? Or maybe he sleeps shirtless? That’s a train of thought Alec needs to shut down quickly. Unfortunately, Alec’s got a very vivid imagination and his brain is immediately full of Theo’s masculine body and light chest hair, of wide hips and soft thighs. It’s enough to have him ready to throw himself back down into the river bottom. Thankfully, Theo is behind him and can’t see Alec’s flushed face.

Willing his overactive imagination and dick to calm down, he continues to rummage through the t-shirts, not even sure what he’s looking for when his hands settle on a very familiar shirt. This t-shirt had starred in more than one of Alec’s nighttime fantasies, which is maybe ridiculous since it’s nothing more than a faded college t-shirt, but it’s Theo’s shirt. He still remembers going to visit Jason and Theo with his parents when they were at college, the way Theo ruffled his hair and pulled him in for a hug wearing this shirt.

The t-shirt definitely used to be black but is more of a dark gray now, the lettering of Theo’s alma mater faded and peeling. Unlike Alec, who stuck close to home attending SLU in the same city of Santa Leon where he was born and raised—as much for the D1 soccer scholarship as it was being close to his family—Jason and Theo had gone to school four hours away. Together, of course, because those two never did anything alone. Alec had been relieved when they both moved back home after graduating. Even if things never returned to the way they’d been with Theo before, it’d been good to have him and Jason home.

The years they’d spent away at college had left Alec painfully lonely, and while his abuelita had moved in with them when Alec was a freshman, she’d died less than two years later, leaving a gaping hole. Time has soothed the harshest edges of hurt, but Alec still feels more settled having all his family in the same city. He’s not sure what he’d do if any of his brothers decided to move away again like they all did in college. It’s funny to realize most of his friends went to college to find themselves or get away from their family, when Alec knows who he is best when he’s around them. They drive him nuts and they worry too much and they treat him like he’s still a kid, but he loves them fiercely.

Pulling Theo’s shirt close he breathes in the familiar scent of him, his cologne wafting through the room along with fabric softener and something inherently just Theo. He might not be Alec’s the way he wishes, but he’s part of Alec’s family and Alec will do anything to keep it that way.

“Looking for something specific in there?”

Alec startles, realizing exactly how long he’s been standing there.

“Yes, actually, I was hoping to uncover your deepest, darkest secrets,” Alec retorts, tugging the shirt on. It’s at least three sizes too big, the collar stretched out so it hangs half off his shoulder and exposes his collarbone. It’s loose around the midsection, reminding Alec of just how much bigger Theo is than him. Fuck, Alec likes big boys. Big men. Older men. His jaw aches with the need to bite or suck and it’s all he can do to stay still and act normal.

“I’m afraid you’re looking in the wrong drawer. I keep all my secrets locked away in the basement.”

Alec’s hand clenches in the shirt and he tucks the front into his waistband near his hip just to give himself something to do.

“You don’t have a basement,” Alec points out, turning around to face Theo.

“I—” but Theo stops, licking his lips.

“What?”

Unexpectedly, Theo’s hand settles at the center of Alec’s chest, almost as if trying to feel the rise and fall of his chest or the steady beating of his heart. There, hidden beneath his walls of indifference, is the faintest hint of a smile, but it's there and gone in a flash when Theo drops his hand away.

“This used to be my favorite shirt. It was the first thing I ever bought at college. Made it feel real, that I’d actually done it and gone to college. I was gonna make something of myself, or at least that’s what I thought.”

Alec knows that already. It’s exactly why he picked it out of all the others. He just can’t say that out loud. “Guess I have a knack for knowing what’s special.” You, he thinks. You’re special.

“I stopped wearing it because I was sure I’d wear it out and lose it. Probably sounds dumb to want to keep something and yet be too afraid to wear it.”

“I’ll wear a different one,” Alec offers, already reaching behind his neck to tug it off when Theo stops him with a gentle touch. He gives Alec’s wrist a squeeze before yanking his hand back and then promptly shoving both his hands into his pockets.

“You can keep it on.”

There’s something there, but Alec isn’t sure what. He has the feeling he’s walking a tightrope: push too hard and he will fall, play it too safe and risk falling anyway.

“It does look good on me,” Alec smirks, trying to relieve whatever tension is simmering. “Or maybe you’re just afraid of seeing me naked and falling in love with me.”

“Is that a regular occurrence?” Theo asks in a way that’s impossible to tell if he’s being serious or teasing. That’s the thing about Theo, he has a good sense of humor, but it’s drier than Alec’s and sometimes harder to parse. Theo is understated and quiet, even his humor.

“Oh, yeah. Everyone's a little bit in love with me.” Alec winks. “I promise not to hold it against you if you do. I am pretty irresistible.”

Theo laughs, shaking his head like Alec is ridiculous. The thing is, he is ridiculous. He knows he is, but he likes that about himself, even if other people sometimes find it too much. He likes being happy, and more than that he likes making his favorite people happy, too. It’s an added bonus that all his positivity and outlandishness earns him all the attention his dopamine-deprived brain craves.

“Just remember I warned you, Theodore.”

“I promise I won’t fall in love with you, Alec,” Theo says with a smile.

Alec offers him a smile in return, wondering how he can be so happy and so heartbroken all at once. “I know, Theo.”

“I’m sure you don’t have time for romance, anyway. You’ll be too busy with your senior year and then, the way your parents tell it, you’ll be off in the MLS becoming famous. Or more famous.”

“I am not famous,” Alec grumbles, fidgeting the hem of the shirt. He really wishes he’d brought a pack of gum on his run. If he doesn’t get something in his mouth soon, he’s going to crawl out of his skin.

“That’s not the way Twitter tells it. I’ve seen—” Theo snaps his mouth shut.

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