Page 93 of Cross the Line

The silence that follows is louder than any words could be. Part of Theo wishes Alec would yell at him, remind him what a horrible person he is, but Alec doesn’t say anything as he dresses quietly and somehow that hurts more.

Every beat of Theo’s heart thunders in his ears as he pulls his jeans and sweater back on. When he dares to look up at Alec, he almost wishes he hadn’t. Standing there in Theo’s clothes, he looks so young and vulnerable. The sweater cuffs hang over his hands and the sweats pool over his bare feet. He’s beautiful.

“I’m sorry,” Theo whispers. “I made you a promise and?—”

“It’s okay, Theodore.” Alec offers him a smile he doesn’t deserve, offering him the kind of reassurance that Theo should be giving to Alec. It twists a knot inside of Theo, a harsh and painful reminder of how horrible he is at feelings. “I can sneak out the side gate. I won’t tell Jason. You don’t have to worry.”

Much as Theo wishes he could tell Alec it doesn't matter, they both know that’s not true. Even though the thought of Jason finding out makes Theo want to fall apart, watching Alec walk away hurts just as much. Alec doesn’t yell or protest, even though he has every right given that he’s all but being kicked out. He’s mature, understanding, and doesn’t hesitate to walk away from Theo. It’s exactly what needs to happen, yet the knot around Theo’s chest doesn’t loosen.

“You need a ride home and?—”

“It’s fine,” Alec interrupts, eyes focused on the ground. Rio streaks past Theo, moving to paw at Alec’s legs, but he doesn’t pick her up despite her noisy mewls for attention. “I can’t, baby. I gotta go.”

She doesn’t understand, letting out a pitifully unhappy sound as Alec ignores her. “I’ll just sneak out the back door and down the side gate and?—”

The rest of his words are cut off by the familiar sound of a key in the lock. Theo freezes. There is no explaining this away. He was supposed to watch out for Alec, not let him get drunk then try and fuck him. Alec probably hates him and now Jason will, too.

When the door flies open, there’s a moment of confusion as Jason hovers in the doorway, eyes wide as he stares. Theo’s standing by the couch with his attention on Jason, while Alec stands there with an unhappy kitten desperate for attention. He’s also wearing Theo’s clothing, which is going to complicate everything and?—

“Oh, damn you caught us,” Alec says.

Theo’s lungs stop working as he glances between Alec, who is smiling, and Jason who looks like he’s not sure what the hell is happening, which is exactly how Theo feels.

“I caught you,” Jason echoes, stepping into the house.

“Yeah.” Alec blows out a breath, leaning against the couch. “Theo was being a good guy and trying to help me avoid my hangover embarrassment. I made a fool of myself.”

Jason looks at Theo, whose expression must confirm Alec’s lie because Jason shakes his head. “I knew you’d be trouble, Alec. That’s why I asked Theo to keep an eye on you.”

“That’s me, trouble.” Alec laughs, but the sound is hollow and Theo can’t find it in himself to laugh along with them. He knows exactly what Alec is doing, and he’s sick to his stomach that he’s letting him.

“I got pretty wasted and well, just be glad you weren’t there. Ruined my clothes, too, but Theo was nice enough to let me sleep it off here and borrow some of his things. It’s my fault he missed breakfast. You know how I am.”

Alec shrugs as if any of this is his fault, as if he was some kind of trouble. As if Theo didn’t willingly take him home and take care of him. As if all of this isn’t entirely Theo’s fault. He was the older one last night, the sober one. He made these choices, not Alec.

“It’s all right,” Jason says with an easy smile. He crosses the room to ruffle Alec’s hair. “We were all young and stupid once. I’m just glad everything is okay.”

Alec slaps Jason’s hand away, flipping him off before he finds his shoes and slips them on. “I’ll, uh, get out of your hair, Theo. Thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it,” Theo mumbles.

“You need a ride home?” Jason asks Alec.

“I’m good,” Alec shoves his hands into his pockets, grabbing his sneakers and moving towards the front door. “See you guys later.”

Jason waits until the door is closed behind Alec to blow out a breath and shake his head. “I’m sorry you had to deal with him alone. I didn’t actually think he’d get that drunk.”

“It was no big deal,” Theo says softly.

“You’re a good friend, man.” Jason claps him on the shoulder, grinning. “You got anything to eat? I’m starving. By the way, did I tell you Mr. Hanover, the science teacher, quit? I’ve gotta tell you all the chisme.”

Hearing Spanish immediately has Theo thinking of Alec. He does his best to push those thoughts aside while Jason shares every bit of gossip he’s managed to hear about Mr. Hanover’s breakdown, involving an exploded beaker and a missing frog, Theo’s mind wanders through an unsettling maze of relief and confusion. Despite what Jason says, he doesn’t feel like a good friend. He doesn’t feel like a good anything. He betrayed Jason and he let Alec down, and the worst part of it all is that the entire thing did nothing to rid Theo of his desire for Alec.

“You coming?” Jason asks, already halfway to the kitchen.

“Coming,” Theo confirms, following Jason. All it takes is one look at the kitchen counter where he held Alec just that morning for Theo to want to puke.

What the fuck has Theo done?

---