Page 102 of Cross the Line

“Now, now, now,” he begs, fingers digging into Theo’s sides hard enough to leave a mark.

“Soon,” Theo promises. “I’m a little bigger than two fingers.”

“A little?” Alec huffs. “You’re fucking huge.”

“If it’s too big?—”

“That was not a goddamn complaint, Theodore.” Alec’s voice trembles, his gaze locked on Theo’s face. “Stop teasing me.”

“I’m not teasing, sweetheart.”

The air in the room seems to leave, Theo’s own breathing labored as the implications of what he’s just said slam into him. He doesn’t use terms of endearment. Then again, he doesn’t let sexual partners into his bed, or talk this much during sex, either. He might be the one taking Alec’s virginity, but he sure as hell is proving to be a first for Theo in more ways than Theo is prepared for.

“Alec.”

Alec’s hand curls around the back of Theo’s neck, pulling him down in a kiss that is far more gentle than Theo expects. Their breaths mingle, mouths gliding together as Alec’s tongue slips inside his mouth.

Theo pauses the kiss only long enough to retrieve a condom and roll it on before he’s back sealing his mouth over Alec’s mouth, finally positioning himself against Alec’s hole. The tip nudges against the ring of muscle. There’s the slightest moment of resistance, but then Alec’s legs wrap around Theo’s back, his heels digging into Theo’s spine as he pulls Theo closer. His cockhead slips inside, welcoming him into Alec’s tight, hot warmth and then Alec’s back arches off the bed as his heels dig in harder.

“More,” Alec demands. The lines of his neck cord, every muscle in his perfect body held taut. He’s not breathing, not moving, just looking at Theo like he can’t believe this is happening.

Theo’s never been anyone’s first like this and he’s not expecting the rush of affection as he watches Alec take him. He looks so good, spread out, moaning and gasping like he was made to take Theo.

“Beautiful,” Theo praises.

A tiny but noticeable shudder wracks Alec as if he isn’t expecting it, which is unimaginable to Theo given that he’s one of the sexiest men Theo’s ever seen.

“Breathe,” Theo reminds him, peppering kisses across his nose and cheeks and down the side of his jaw.

He starts to pull out but Alec whines, trying to drag him back in. “Don’t stop.”

“I’m not,” Theo promises. “Gonna fuck you so good, Alexander. I’ll take real good care of you.”

Alec’s eyes glisten with unshed tears, but whether from pain or pleasure, Theo can’t be sure. He hopes it's the latter, but first times aren’t as perfect as movies or porn might make you want to believe. For all Theo prepared him and tried to be gentle, it's still new.

“Promise?” Alec whispers.

“I promise.”

CHAPTER 19

Alec

Theo’s promise washes over Alec, dragging away the worry and unease like the tide pulling back to the sea. It’s still there, swirling and churning beneath the surface, but settled, too.

Showing up to Theo’s house in the middle of the night wasn’t the smartest choice he’s ever made, not that he really chose to do so. He’d sort of lost his mind and come without thinking. He almost wishes he could blame being drunk or horny, but the truth is it’s just Theo and his goddamn beautiful blue eyes and honey-sweet voice that Alec can’t get enough of.

A few words of apology from Theo and all of his previous anger dissipated. The hurt remains, but then again, that’s nothing new. At this point Alec’s heart is filled with enough scars it resembles the rings inside a tree, every layer of hurt growing around the last. Each scar is just part of him now. This is just one more layer of injury that makes up Alec’s heart, which is maybe a little sad and fucked up, but also not something he cares to change. He’s more afraid of never loving again than loving and being hurt.

He knows that Theo would rather wall himself away from caring about people so they can’t hurt him. He might not be Theo’s best friend, and he might’ve suffered being pushed away and sidelined for years, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t pay attention. He understands Theo, which is probably why it’s so easy to forgive him. He’s difficult and hyper-independent, but no matter how many times he breaks Alec’s heart, the one thing Alec knows is that it’s not on purpose.

Loving Theo hurts so much he can hardly breathe, but Alec can’t stop. With Theo above him, whispering praise and touching Alec like he’s something precious, he knows he wouldn’t stop even if he could. He doesn’t have a damn clue what’s happening, aside from the part where Theo’s massive cock is in his ass. Emotionally, though, he might as well be a boat lost at sea. Theo ignoring him made sense because Theo’s M.O. is to shut down and pull back when he’s scared. This is, well, Alec has no idea what’s happening now.

While banging on the door, Alec had been absolutely certain he was about to be sent away. Theo wasn’t supposed to look apologetic, wasn’t supposed to soothe away Alec’s hurt and take him to bed as if he could fuck away the pain. That’s not how this works, at least not for Alec. Maybe for Theo it does; he certainly views sex differently. For Alec, the only way he wanted sex was with someone he loved, which is exactly how he fell into bed with the one man determined to keep pushing him away.

Only he’s not pushing Alec away right now, he’s pulling him closer. Theo is so close Alec barely knows where he starts and Theo ends. Everything is bare skin and sweet kisses and the slide of Theo’s massive body above his own. It’s kind of like having an out of body experience. Alec tries so hard to stay in the moment, but his brain is racing with flashes of the future and memories of the past.

All he wants is to be present, to always remember the way it feels to be held and wanted even after Theo lets go. Because he will, Alec knows. Hopefully not right away. Maybe if Alec is careful and lucky, he can spend more time with Theo.

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