Page 60 of Claimed by Him

Twenty-Nine

“I’ve got you.”

The words struck panic hard and deep. I gasped for air, and it was like someone had built a fire in my lungs. Each breath burned, but to not breathe was worse. Black spots danced in my vision, blocking out the owner of the voice.

I didn’t need to see him to know who he was. I knew his voice, the feel of him. He’d made me feel safe, and now he was stripping that away from me, replacing it with fear.

It was the ultimate betrayal, to have the person I trusted the most let me down. He said he had me, but I knew he didn’t. He was walking away, lies still falling from his lips, smile still on his face.

I tried to call out to him, to tell him that I still needed him, but my voice caught in my throat. Once he disappeared, I’d never see him again. I’d be left with the new him. This cold, angry creature who knew only violence and pain. He’d hurt me and like doing it because that’s all I would be to him. An outlet for all the misery he held inside.

How could things have changed so fast? I didn’t understand. Was I truly this naïve that I’d believe he meant anything he said? He’d broken my heart, and he would take my life. It’d be easy to do. I was only a shell of a person, more fragile than anyone realized.

Was that what had finally turned him away? Seeing me for who I was? A coward who couldn’t stop him. A child who couldn’t save her mother. A woman who failed at everything she did. A friend who couldn’t save her mentor. A lover who couldn’t keep him.

Two hims. Two men. Both betrayers. Both heart-breakers. Men of lies and violence. I’d given my heart to one from birth, and he’d protected it…until he tried to destroy it. I’d given my heart to another, and he crushed it.

“I’ve got you.”

I heard the sarcasm now, dripping from every word. The laughter underneath the promise. A mockery.

“I’ve got you.”

He let me go.

“I’ve got you.”

He tried to kill me.

“I’ve got you.”

He hurt me, and he’d do it again.

“I’ve got you.”

No one ever stayed. No one…

I jerked awake, disorientation lasting only a few seconds before I registered where I was. My apartment. Home. Jalen had brought me back here after the funeral. I remembered now. We’d had sex, and I told him my story. He’d held me while I’d fallen asleep.

No wonder I’d had such a confusing nightmare, mixing past and present, my father and Jalen. It was actually more surprising that I hadn’t experienced more nightmares over the past week. Stress usually brought them on more often.

It was morning, and the light in my room was enough for me to see that I was alone in bed. I could hear Jalen in the shower though, and the sound helped me relax. He hadn’t snuck out.

I pulled the blankets more tightly around me and gave in to the desire to snuggle back down into the bed. I wasn’t self-indulgent often, and today seemed like a good enough day to give it a shot. Besides, it was Saturday. I hadn’t done much in the way of work this week, but I didn’t see the point of opening up before Monday, especially since all the work fell to me now.

I was still lazing about when Jalen came into the bedroom. His hair was still wet, and he wore only the dress slacks he’d worn to the funeral. He looked…lickable. I pushed myself into a sitting position, prepared to enjoy the view. He bent over to pick up his shirt, then visibly startled when he saw me.

“You’re awake.”

“I’m thinking a lazy Saturday might be just what the doctor ordered,” I said with a smile. “We can make brunch out of whatever I have in my kitchen and just veg out. Watch some TV. I’m sure you’re as exhausted as I am. I really appreciated you being there–”

It wasn’t until just then that I realized he wasn’t looking at me. In fact, he was looking everywhere but at me. I might’ve written it off as him dressing, but his cheeks were flushed. I frowned.

“Is something wrong?”

“Don’t you feel like we went from zero to ninety in ten seconds flat?” he asked.

I tucked my blanket more tightly under my arms, suddenly self-conscious once more. “What do you mean?”