Page 61 of Claimed by Him

“This.” He gestured around us. “We went from complete strangers to staying over at each other’s places and talking about all this deep, personal stuff.”

“I’ve got you.”

The voice from my dream echoed in my head as my body went cold.

I could have reminded him that he’d been the one to initiate our first kiss. That I hadn’t exactly had to twist his arm to get him to have sex with me. I could’ve reminded him of how he’d later regretted the asinine way he’d behaved, both that night and when he’d found Clay here. There were dozens of other instances I could have brought up, times when he’d clearly been the one taking the lead or insisting that he stay with me when I told him to go home.

I didn’t say any of that though. I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. All I could do was stare at him.

“I’m not saying I don’t like you. Things are just going too fast. We need to take a step back.”

A step back.

I wasn’t an idiot. I knew that was what people said when they wanted to leave but didn’t want to look like the bad guy. I’d just lost someone close to me and told him about the worst thing that had ever happened to me. If he flat-out broke things off, he’d be the worst sort of asshole. A step back meant that he wasn’t abandoning me. Just taking some time to think. Getting some air.

Retreating like a fucking coward.

“I’ve got you.”

“You understand, don’t you?” He still couldn’t meet my eyes. “It’s been a lot to deal with.”

I swallowed a bitter laugh. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how deep he was cutting. I also wasn’t going to tell him it was okay. It was fucking far from okay. I managed a tight nod.

“Do you want me to walk you out?”

I barely recognized my voice.

“No.” He shook his head, relief flooding his features. “Thanks.”

I didn’t know if he was thanking me for the offer or for what he thought was agreement on my part. I didn’t care either. I just wanted him gone.

“I’ve got you.”

The front door closed, and the sound echoed back through my apartment, confirming that I was alone. If I believed in fate or destiny or any of that shit, I might’ve thought my dream was prophetic.

Instead, I saw it for what it was. A reminder of the truth I’d let myself forget.

Men left.

“I’ve got you.”

For years, I’d blamed my mom for what happened, for not leaving my father and getting us out of that situation, but the one thing I’d never felt toward her was abandonment. She hadn’t chosen to leave me. If anything, it had been her loyalty that had gotten her killed.

No, my father had been the one who’d taken her away, and he’d taken himself away too. Sure, he’d had that accident at work, and it’d changed him, but I’d heard enough about what happened to know that the accident had been his own fault. He hadn’t been paying attention to his work, and it’d bitten him in the ass. He might not have exactly chosen to walk away, but it’d been his poor choices that had put him in the position to get hurt.

“I’ve got you.”

Anton hadn’t chosen to leave either, but he’d known how dangerous people could be, and he hadn’t taken enough precautions to keep himself safe.

“I’ve got you.”

Clay…Clay had never left me. I’d run away from him, but he’d looked for me. Without Anton around, he could have ignored me. There were so many times I’d done things that should have driven him away, but he’d stayed.

“I’ve got you.”

I threw off the covers and got out of bed. I knew exactly what I needed to do and where I needed to go. The first thing I needed was a shower. Then, I’d pack a bag.