Page 17 of Bolted

Besides, I wouldn’t turn down more time with Riley without her idiot husband in the way.

“Yes, sir, right away, sir," he responds “I’ll get all of this cleaned up immediately,” and he rushes away.

“I think it’s about time we go mingle with the rest of our guests boys,” I say. And with that Xavier, Jonathan, and I all get up from the table to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Chapter 20

Riley

I choose to address the events of the evening of the holiday party piece by piece. First up, I consider Nate’s behavior in general. When I’d walked out of the restroom in time to see Nate being escorted out by what looked to be a bouncer, I’d been confused. “Excuse me,” I had stepped in front of the two men, “what’s going on? He’s with me…”

I’d questioned myself then and am now. Is he with me? Or is he with Sebastian’s assistant?! Was I imagining the way her hand caressed his arm? Is this who he’s been spending late nights with? Am I jealous or just overreacting?

Then I’d smelled the vomit. Nate’s shirt was covered in the day’s worth of alcohol. “Oh,” I muttered softly, embarrassed. “Thank you for your help.”

As the driver helped Nate into the car, I looked back before climbing in myself. The lights inside were still twinkling and it looked like people were mingling amongst the tables. Another opportunity for me to show up as a prospective full-time lawyer was destroyed by Nate’s temper and actions. I was furious.

I spent the way home fuming as Nate tried to keep his shit together and not puke all over this hired car. When we got home, he’d stumbled to the couch and I went back to our room. I had no energy for an argument that could possibly lead to a physical fight. Plus, I needed time to think about all the things Sebastian had said to me, not to mention that energy that had passed between Nate and Sasha. What a complete shit show my life was quickly becoming.

“Just when you think you’ve had enough and you’re begging for me to stop, I'm going to slip inside of you and stretch you in ways you won’t forget.”

And now I can’t forget the way my body had responded to Sebastian’s words. My pulse had been thrumming in my throat, my cheeks on fire. I was pissed to have him intervene and try to be some knight in shining armor. I had been with Nate forever, I knew how to handle him in my own way.

But calling me his mouse? Acting like I was a prize to be won and conquered? Why did that send shivers down my spine? I generally think of men as assuming too much of themselves. Assuming a woman is satisfied because she doesn’t say otherwise. Thinking they know how to speak to women. But the way Sebastian spoke to me didn’t offend me, it didn’t piss me off either. It scared me, but more than that, it excited me. Which only made me feel more confused. Was I becoming a sadist? Did I subject myself to torturous situations because I enjoyed them?

I had long ago considered that I stayed with Nate because I was either crazy or desperate or maybe I was just afraid to be alone. I hadn’t really had a way out, if I had actually thought of leaving. I wasn’t making my own money, I didn’t have that kind of relationship with my sister, Nate was a Saint in my parents’ eyes and lord knows I wasn’t going to crawl back to my hometown.

But now, maybe, I could see a way out. I was making decent money with Bolt. If I finished my internship and was offered full-time work, my salary would be enough to consider alternative living options. It would be nice to not have to walk on eggshells everytime I came home or worry about being woken up to my drunk husband fondling me in the middle of the night.

Needless to say, my thoughts and feelings were scattered. I had texted Corrine after arriving home that night. ‘Hey! Are you free for brunch tomorrow?’ A few minutes had passed before I heard the buzz. ‘Is it ok if it’s a tipsy brunch? I may still be drunk then.’

Now it’s morning, I’m clearer and meeting Corrine at a bougie breakfast place near her apartment. I'm learning more about her each time we connect, maybe more than one really wants to know about their sister. She seems to always be dating a few people, but she never seems serious about them.

“Ugh, work is the only thing I truly get off on,” she’s saying now. I had asked her about her current relationships when we were heading to the table.

I decide to ask what I really want to know. “Is it scary to be alone?”

Corrine looks up at me from the giant menu she’s studying. Her eyes looked concerned. “Is there something going on Riley? Do you need my help?”

I honestly don't know why exactly she was my first thought when I’d gotten home from the holiday party. I just wanted someone I could talk to about what was happening with Sebastian and what had happened with Nate, not recently, but for years now.

“I think for a long time,” I started, “I just assumed what I had with Nate was all that I needed.” I turn away as I continue. “It’s just that Mom made such a big deal out of not wasting my own future for a man, and I was so certain that she was wrong. That being with someone as young as I was when I married Nate, wasn’t a sacrifice of my life, it was the beginning of it. Dad always pushed my future with Nate and that confused the hell out of me”

I look back at Corrine. “I think maybe Mom was right.”

Corrine rolls her eyes. “Don’t ever tell her that.” She picks up her bloody mary and swirls around the pickle sticking out of the top. “Seriously though. Are you thinking about leaving Nate?”

“I don’t know. I need to be able to make it on my own and he’s not that bad.” Corrine winces.

“It’s just that, yeah, he’s sometimes a little aggressive, but a lot of guys are like that.”

Corrine grabs my hand and lowers her voice. “Riley. Men can be aggressive, yes. But the men I’ve been with are aggressive in a good way. Does that make sense? Like, rough in the kind of way that lets me know they worship me but want to tear me to pieces by making me come so hard.”

I blush at her words. She can be so honest. “I think I know what you mean.” I hesitate before continuing. Sebastian spoke to me last night. Like….that. Like he was going to devour me whole again and again.”

“And, it is really fucking confusing because I wanted it. I wanted him to take me right where we were and make me come alive.” I look down at my hands, they’re fidgeting with the napkin in my lap. “That’s crazy, right?”

Corrine looks at the waiter walking our way and gestures to her half empty glass. ‘Two more?’ she mouths before continuing. “There’s nothing wrong with being turned on by something totally different than what you’d expect. You think I knew I’d like being strung from the ceiling and licked shamelessly by a woman while I sucked someone off?”

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