Page 65 of My Guardian Gryphon

“No. I can’t lose you, too. They took my dignity and my confidence and most of my sanity. The only thing I still have in my life that’s good is you. If this magick backfires and steals that good away along with the bad, then I’ll lose the only thing that ever mattered to me.” I backed away from Javier and wrapped myself into my comforter again. “As scared and confused as I am, I’m still not willing to live without our memories.”

“I’ll let you guys talk.” Javier stood and left the room, closing the door behind him.

“I’m going to need time. I can’t even begin to guess, but I—”

“It doesn’t matter, Gretchen. Anything you need, for as long as you need, no matter what.”

“What if I’m always scared? What if I can’t get past it? Ever?”

“It doesn’t matter. I will love you forever.”

I nodded, trying to make myself believe the promise he’d declared more than once, but my head was swimming, and I needed to be alone, at least for now. “I need to sleep. I’m so tired.”

He stood and started to reach for me, but stopped his hand halfway. “Do you want me to stay? Or send someone else to sit with you?”

“I just want to be alone for a while.”

He nodded. “Of course.” His words were soft, but I could still hear the worry lacing the edge of his tone. “I’ll check on you in a little while.”

I lay down, buried my face in my pillow, closed my eyes, and waited for him to leave. When the door opened and shut, I opened them again and glanced around the room. He had left. Just as he’d said he would.

Relief and sadness swelled in my body at the same time. Nothing about the choice I’d made was going to be easy. I had to be okay with that. I had to be okay with taking it slow. I had to trust that he was telling the truth. That he was okay with slow, too. My gut said he wasn’t lying, but I still worried. I couldn’t help it.

I was broken. Even if I managed to glue all the pieces back together, the cracks would always show. They would be part of me.

Forever.

Chapter 24

ALEK

I opened the door onto the main club area of the castle basement floor and nearly collided with Bella.

“How is she?”

“She chose not to erase the memories.” My chest tightened painfully, and my heart pounded behind my ribs, reminding me how much I’d wanted her to choose what I’d thought would be the easiest way for her to heal, to move on. To somehow be okay with something that would never be okay.

I gritted my teeth against the tears welling in my eyes and the overwhelming urge to fall apart. How was I going to handle never touching Gretchen? I’d almost reached for her when I left. I knew I’d do it again. I needed her, craved her touch. “I told her that no matter what she needed, no matter how long it takes, I will be there for her.”

Bella tipped her head to the side and met my gaze, her blue eyes filled with compassion and understanding. The pixie said it would be hard. She’d warned me this could happen.

“You need to let it out. Go fly, Alek. For a few minutes at least. You’re no good to Gretchen or yourself or anyone here depending on you in this state.”

My body shivered from head to foot. My Gryphon wanted to scream, wanted to weep, but I couldn’t show weakness. I didn’t want those damn soldiers to report back to Xerxes that he’d won.

He hadn’t won.

We were still here, and we were still capable of fighting. That bastard wasn’t going to get away with this, with any of this.

“I won’t be gone long.”

Bella nodded.

I hurried through the rest of the club area, up through the ground level entrance, and out into the green space and courtyard of the castle.

“Alek.” Jared’s voice carried across the open space.

I turned toward my friend. Calliope stood at his side along with Bailey and Erick. Her eyes were red from tears, but her mouth was hard and the tips of her fingers were blackened from her claws straining to get out.

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