Page 106 of Fractured Frets

“You guys are killing it.” Kyle topped up our wines. “You’ve been ranking on the charts for weeks. Flooding social feeds. Sold out every show overseas. It’s exciting, right?”

“Yeah. It’s incredible. None of us expected to get this big.” But a fevered rush of nausea washed over me. The pressures from touring kept mounting. “So tell me...how did you handle it? The sudden rise in fame?”

He chuckled. “You mean the overnight success that took us five years?”

“Yeah. That.” We’d been successful since our first album. Popular. But we could still walk down the street or go out to a bar without turning too many heads. This tour, however, had taken on a whole new level of insanity. Screaming fans waited outside our hotels or at the airports to see us. Paparazzi followed us everywhere. We trended daily on social media.

Kyle wiped his mouth on his napkin, then replaced it over his lap. “Winning that YouTube contest all those years ago changed our lives. Yes, we became famous super-fast. We went from being nobodies to stars within a couple of months. We’d never been in the spotlight before. We had no grounding, no guidance or clue on what to expect. It was a wild ride. We were lucky to have a big company behind us who trained us, told us where to go and what to do. But they also nearly destroyed us.” He tilted his head toward his bandmates. “The three of us survived because we had each other. I owe my life to Gemma and Hunter. We saw each other through more ups and downs than I care to think about. Relationships. Drugs. Drama. Things got better once we went out on our own and Hayden joined us. The key to surviving in this business is to always be honest with yourself, and each other, and surround yourself with people who you not only trust your life with but would take a bullet for you.”

“I do. These guys are my world. So is Maddy. I’ve just got to work out the balance.”

He popped a piece of cheese into his mouth, chewed, and grinned. “Let me know when you find that. Gem and I are still working on it.”

That was news to me. “But you seem to have it all together.”

“I wish.” His eyes glinted as he laughed. “But it is good. Real good.” He lazily played with Gemma’s long brown hair as she sat on the other side of him, chatting with Cole. “Gem would churn out another album and go on tour tomorrow if we could. But we have Skye now. Hunter and Hayden have kids and wives too. Life changed. We’ve had to slow down. We’ve been too close to burnout several times.”

Am I? Some days it felt like it. We hadn’t had a decent break in years. We’d released two albums and completed two tours before we lost Phil. The six months following his death had been a blur as Cole and I’d helped Flint claw his way back from depression. Then we’d hit the studio, churned out another album, and had flown around the country on a promotional tour. Now, here we were, three months into the first leg of our nine-month global tour.

Kyle took a sip of wine, then placed his glass down. “Leaving SureHaven-Grant Records was the best thing we ever did. Having control over our music changed everything. Having an album that topped anything we ever did with them was even better.” A shit-eating smile inched across his face. “That was fucking sweet. But we know this business can be tough. Draining. Exhausting. Dark. So if you need help, ask. If you need anything, call. If you’re not feeling right about something, talk about it. I’m here if you need to do any of those things.”

“Thanks, man.” I slumped back in my chair and glanced at my friends scattered about the table, chatting. These people were my life. But there’d been a shift inside of me, and I couldn’t switch it off. I swiveled my head back to Kyle. “Have you ever had that moment when you had your future all worked out, but then something or someone came into your life and changed everything?”

“Yeah. The day I met Gemma in high school...and then the day I nearly lost her to my best friend.”

Smirking, I shook my head. “That is fucked up.”

“It was torture seeing Gem and Hunter together all those years ago.” Old anguish washed over his dark eyes, but within a blink, it was gone. “I paid the price for not having the balls to tell her how I felt and was afraid of losing our friendship.” Light returned to his gaze. “But luckily, Gem thought he was a shit kisser, and he was in love with someone else. It all worked out. But it wasn’t an easy road.”

I picked up my wine and stared at the rich red liquid and inhaled the peppery aroma. “I think I’m on that road right now.”

“This about Maddy?” Concern set in his tone.

“Yeah.” I took a sip, then licked my lips. “She’s not in the music business. Or LA. Her mom’s sick and takes up a lot of her time. But we’ve become great friends. She grounds me. When I’m with her, everything feels right.”

“That’s awesome.” Kyle cut another slice of cheese off the platter and popped it in his mouth. “If it is right, and she’s what you want, don’t listen to anything or anyone else but yourself. It can be hard to do that with so much noise going on around you. You’re the only one who can find a path that will make you happy. Life’s too fucking short.” He waved the cheese knife at me. “You, of all people, know that. We’ve lost people we’ve loved and cared about. Live with no regrets.”

I puffed air through my nose. “I’ve had a few of those.”

“Yeah...me too.” Clouds drifted across his eyes as he nodded. “Gem, Hayds, Hunt, and I went through many rough and shitty times, but we also treasured and celebrated every win. We wanted this life; we made it happen. I can finally say I’m in a good place, and I’m truly happy. I’ve got Gem. She’s it. I’d do anything for her.”

My breath shuddered through my chest. “That scares me because I feel that way about Maddy.”

“When you find the one, you gotta do what’s right for you.”

“Yeah. After the tour.”

Grinning, he slapped me on the back. “Yep. After the tour.”

***

Four days later, our tour hit Pittsburgh. Our last week of the US leg. I couldn’t wait to get home. Sleep in my bed. Be with Maddy. The guys and I had two weeks off before we headed overseas. My body ached just thinking about the long six months ahead.

But today was my birthday—yet another crippling reminder Phil was gone. It had been two years since he died, but it still felt like it’d happened yesterday. Luckily we had no show tonight. Once we arrived at our hotel just after noon, I popped a Tramadol and went to sleep. I woke in the early evening, smoked a joint out on the balcony, then headed to dinner with everyone. But somberness hung in the air. Cole and Flint were quiet. Glassiness shimmered across Tia’s eyes. This day was hard on all of us. No one wanted to be there, so we finished our meals and drinks quickly and headed back to the hotel.

Enjoying the calm of evening on the balcony, I took a drag on another joint. As I puffed out the smoke, my phone pinged.

Maddy’s name blazed across my screen. I smiled, feeling lighter.

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