Page 107 of Fractured Frets

Maddy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Me: Thx. It sucked.

Maddy: You at The Fairmont or out?

Me: At the hotel. Having an early one. How was awards lunch today?

Maddy: Don’t know. Wasn’t there.

Me: ??? Why not?

There was a knock on my door. Who the fuck wanted me at this hour? Was it the guys finally wanting to talk about Phil? Or was it Cole, still upset over Ava leaving? He’d been hell-bent on coming up with ideas to win her back. I hoped his plan worked. He’d been a mopey sack of shit since she’d left. At least I’d pretended everything was okay. I didn’t like dragging others into my problems. I’d deal with them myself—all in due course.

I stubbed out my joint in the potted plant, hauled my ass off the ground, and made my way to the door.

I peered through the peephole.

My heart fucking stopped.

Maddy stood there with Beckett.

I yanked the door open and struggled to breathe, happy but confused. “Mads? What are you doing here?” I dragged her to my room, thanked Beckett with a dip of my chin, and shut the door. She dropped her carry-on by the closet, wrapped her arms around my shoulders, then kissed me.

Oh my God. I’d missed her.

“Hi.” She swept her hands over my hair. “It’s your birthday. I wanted to surprise you.”

“You have.” I rested my forehead against hers. “This is amazing. But why? I hate my birthday.”

She placed her hand over my pounding heart. “I know this day is hard for you. For everyone. So I wanted to be here for you. Do something special. I can listen to your stories about Phil if you’d like to talk about him and get the stuff you hold close off your chest.” She slid her hands around my waist and clutched my ass. “Or I could take your mind off what happened by doing wicked things to this hot body of yours and hopefully give you a reason to like your birthday again. So, what’s it gonna be? How would you like to spend the last couple hours of today?”

I cupped her cheek and brushed my thumb across her soft pink lips. “Both. I’m still in shock. That you’re here...for me?” Why did the back of my eyes sting? She’d flown across the country to see me for my birthday. To help me through the day I fucking hated. Fuck. I’d been in love with her before this moment, but I kept falling for her, more and more, time and time again.

“Well then...” She linked her hands behind my neck. “I brought candles, massage oil and pot. Let’s get high, talk, fuck, and forget the rest of the world exists tonight.”

“I’m already high.”

“I can smell it.” Smiling, she wrinkled her nose.

“I’m down for everything else, though. You’re perfect. Just what I need.”

How could this beautiful, thoughtful, kind-hearted woman not be my future?...Be my forever?

Chapter 30

SLIP

THE PRESENT – EARLY JULY

Half a bottle of vodka and two pain-killers had numbed me, but I couldn’t sleep after Maddy had left the villa. She constantly consumed my mind. But I wasn’t one to sit around and mope. That wasn’t my style. In the morning, I taped my hip up and went running around the vineyard with Cole and Ava until it screamed at me to stop. Idiot. That night, I went clubbing in Florence with Lewis and Tia, and popped party pills to make it through the night. The next day, I went to some fancy lunch at a local winery with Flint and Sutton and drank until I could barely walk.

But nothing stopped the ache in my chest.

Two days later, we left the villa and headed to Austria to meet up with our crew. Before the guys and I took to the stage in Vienna, I summoned my inner partying mood and hit our meet and greet. I smiled at the cameras. I cracked jokes and made everyone laugh. But on the inside, my focus kept slipping. Breaking. Failing.

Did Maddy honestly want to be with me? I didn’t fucking know. She’d said yes, but for the first time, her insecurities had tested my patience. I’d been adamant I wouldn’t let her mom’s meddling, my parents’ disappointment, or my friends’ concern get to me...but they had. I was tired of having to prove myself. Every day was a battle, and I was running out of ammunition.

I lacked decent sleep.

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