Page 44 of Here With Me

She studied the site, and a deep longing she’d buried long ago woke up. The desire to find someone who made her feel safe, seen, protected, valued. Someone who would be here, in the moment, with her.

Love.

Once upon a time, she’d called that feeling love.

She’d had those feelings for David, until he’d shattered her heart. Then she’d set a pipe bomb to her remaining feelings, swept them up and buried them. Until right now, when they clawed up, blooming into a warmth she’d thought she’d never experience again.

But she couldn’t give a home to the happiness, the feelings. Costa Rica stood between them.

She could, however, accept his offer of assistance. It saved her from scrolling through her mental Rolodex to find the right person to ask. She could cash in on this lifeline, this phone-a-friend.

No one else offered her that. And she liked it. Liked that he was there to help. Liked that he didn’t back away from a challenge. Liked that he wanted to be there for her.

She liked it a lot. Way more than she should.

It had been four days. Four days, and David still couldn’t scrub the memory of almost kissing Sadie from his mind.

David picked up a set of heavier than usual weights and held them by his side as he stepped into position for a lunge. The familiar sounds of the gym and guys laughing faded into the background as he bent his knees, letting his back knee briefly touch the mat before he stood up.

David continued to repeat the move, his thoughts drifting back to a certain stubborn, intelligent, hardworking woman at the hardware store. Sadie carried so much on her capable shoulders—far more than she needed to. David had ached to take some of the weight from her. The webpage had been a simple fix, and she’d made him feel ten feet tall, praising his ingenuity.

For the first time since the accident, David could imagine a future. One he didn’t have to fight for. One he didn’t have to struggle to make happen.

One that included a beautiful woman and her spunky daughter. One right here in Heritage, Michigan.

But that wasn’t right. He had to get back—for his students, for his supporters. For his calling.

David switched legs and started another set of split lunges.

“Thought I might find you here.” Nate dumped a gym bag on the bench as David finished up this set of lunges.

“Where else would I be? We agreed to be here ten minutes ago.” David set his left leg forward again and started another set.

Nate rubbed his jaw and let out a lengthy sigh. “Sorry. It’s been a busy day at the church. How’d your dinner with Lance and Marco go?”

Air rushed out as he considered the night. He couldn’t call it a complete disaster, because the feel of Sadie’s waist under his hand stuck with him. “A mess. I spilled water all over the table, Charlotte thought we were a couple, and I almost kissed Sadie when I dropped her off.”

Nate picked up a set of weights and lined up next to David. “Why not kiss her?”

David could think of several reasons. The main one? “Her life is here. We’ve already established that there’s nothing more between us.”

“Why not?”

“I have to get back to Costa Rica.”

Nate stood up and switched legs in front. Then he continued lunging. “Why, David? Why do you have to go back?”

David allowed silence to fill the space as he did a few reps. “I’ve done a lot in Costa Rica. I’d like to continue. For my supporters. For my students.”

“Your supporters want you to follow God where He is leading.”

“That’s Costa Rica.”

“I believe it was once upon a time. But is it still? It’s hard to pivot, but if God is asking you to, the best thing you can do is let go of your personal plans and follow Him.”

David paused with his knee on the mat. “Missions work is God’s will.”

Nate sighed and stood up, turning to face David. “Have you ever stopped to consider that God’s will is not one size fits all? It’s tailored to fit each person and their unique life differently. God’s will is not a specific calling that everyone has to follow in a robotic manner. Finding His will for your life is a daily activity. Every morning seeking God, following Him. God will help you adapt and stretch as you grow and age, if you are seeking Him. For some, yes, it’s missions. For others it’s being a pastor, or an accountant, or a teacher. Even a shopkeeper.”

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