Page 45 of Here With Me

David shifted his weights so his arms curled up. He held them at shoulder level, spread his feet apart, and started squatting.

Nate continued. “Have you stopped to consider that maybe this accident and subsequent trip back to Heritage might be God setting you on a different path? He can use you anywhere. Look at me, Jon, Seth, Luke—pick any one of us—God has worked in our lives right here. He’s using us here. You don’t have to cut yourself off from everything you love to follow God. Perhaps He’s asking you to change. To follow Him on a new path.”

David pushed to standing and placed the weights back on the rack. “God needs people willing to go.”

“I’m not denying that. I’m just asking you…have you asked God what He wants for your life today? Because sometimes God wants us to go, and sometimes He wants us to stay.”

“He hasn’t opened any other doors.” David dug through his gym bag and pulled out his water, but even as he swallowed the beverage, he knew that wasn’t true. How many times had Lance asked him if he was certain Costa Rica was his future?

David had refused to consider any other option.

Nate set his weights down on the rack and picked up another set. Sat down and started doing some bicep curls. “I’ve enjoyed having you close. I know your sisters have soaked up all the time you’re willing to give them. You keep saying you want to hear God again. But, David, maybe you just aren’t listening to what He is saying. And I know you feel God is silent right now, but let me ask you this—if you are only listening for one answer, are you really listening?”

Nate’s phone buzzed from inside his gym bag. He dug around until he found it and then blew out a deep breath. “I need to take this. I’m sorry, David. I’ll catch up with you later.”

David finished his workout routine in silence, Nate’s words reverberating in his mind. Maybe you just aren’t listening.

Could that be it? Could God be leading him in a path that David didn’t want to acknowledge? Had he only been listening for what he wanted to hear?

Okay, Lord. Whatever You want, wherever You want, I’m listening. Even if it wasn’t Costa Rica, even if it wasn’t the future David envisioned, he’d rather do whatever God wanted. Peace like he hadn’t experienced since before the accident settled around him like a blanket he’d left behind in Costa Rica. That’s what he’d been missing—the peace that came from living a surrendered life.

David hurried out to his car, flung his gym bag in, and started the engine, but his phone rang before he could back out of his spot. He opened his bag and dug around until he found it. Lance’s name flashed across the front of his phone.

“Hey, Lance. Everything ok?”

Lance let out a sigh, and David could picture him loosening his tie. “It was good to see you at dinner last week. Marco and I enjoyed catching up. But…we’ve been talking to Chris.”

Oh no. Lance’s hesitation, the catch in his voice. He had something to say, and David could pretty much guarantee he wouldn’t like it. “I’m not sure I know a Chris?”

“The young guy who was filling in for you in Costa Rica.”

David’s stomach squeezed. “Everything okay?”

Lance chuckled. A nervous sound, and David could tell he’d stood up. Probably pacing his office. “Great, actually. He loves Costa Rica. Loves the position. Loves the kids. Has even updated the webpage. Honestly, he wants to stay. Asked if this position could be permanent.”

“But it’s not. I’m going back.” David closed his eyes and relaxed his head against the headrest. He waited for his stomach to drop, for his mind to race a hundred different directions trying to figure out how to keep his position. Instead, peace settled over him like a weighted blanket.

“That’s the thing.” Lance paused, and his chair squeaked again. He likely sat back down. “We told him the position was his. It’s not that you can’t go back to Costa Rica. Maybe in a different capacity, but Marco and I have talked, and both agree this is the right decision right now.”

Nate’s words came rushing back. Are you only listening for one answer? This was a pretty clear answer—Chris was taking his position. Permanently. What could he say?

Lance cleared his throat and took a sip of something. “With the position filled by someone else, it’s time to let your supporters know you are changing paths.”

David rubbed his chest. Most knew he’d come home after the accident, but if he wasn’t going back, he couldn’t continue to take their financial aid unless he had a new plan. “What if I go to a different location?”

“If that’s the case, you need to make some decisions within the month so you can let supporters know. Some may not continue to support you in a new location, and you may need to find more people to partner with you if you change fields.”

The call ended and David sat in the car, letting the now warm air blow on him. He should feel frustrated, disappointed, angry even, not peaceful.

David’s mind flashed to Sadie—her resilience, her ability to bounce back, the weight she carried on her shoulders.

He had no future. No plans. No idea what God wanted from him, only what He didn’t want from him.

The idea should settle like a pair of shoes two sizes too small, but that weighted blanket of peace didn’t budge.

Okay God, I’m ready for whatever You have next.

Nothing.

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